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softtdaisy · 2 years ago

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DESCRIPTION I All your relationship with Charles was based on dares. How far can it go before it becomes too much?

PAIRING I Charles Leclerc × fem!reader

WORDS COUNT I 3,7k

A/N I I never thought I would go this far with this story but I'm so happy with the way it turned out. I really hope you will like it as much as I loved writing it 💜

Ever since the day you met, you and Charles had been playing the same silly game. In French, they called cap ou pas cap. The idea was to dare the other person to do something.

It all started during your parents’ wedding.

Being six years old at a wedding was the funniest thing to do. You were watching adults having fun, drinking and dancing together. You were sitting at a table, imagining your own life as an adult. How you would be singing out loud, dancing like tomorrow didn’t exist and finding a cute boy to love if you didn’t have someone already. You imagined all the cool clothes you would be wearing, clearly better than those they were wearing now.

You were so focused on the life you were dreaming for yourself that you didn’t see the cute boy walking to you. “You’re bored too?” he asked shyly.

There weren’t that many children in the room that night. Not many of your parents’ friends brought them. But some couples couldn’t accept to let their children home. Just like the Leclerc.

You knew Lorenzo because your dad had been tutoring him a few weeks ago.

You knew Arthur because his mom came to your place to introduce him to yours.

But you never met Charles. You knew you were the same age, your mothers kept saying you should hang out together one day. You knew he was doing karting which is why you never saw him before. You knew he looked adorable because you’ve seen pictures of him.

You knew that your parents quite hoped you too would fall in love. But you were also big enough to know it was a little too early to think about that.

“Yes, I’m quite done with dancing with adults that try to say something funny. They’re not funny.” You rolled your eyes and made Charles laugh. He sat next to you, taking your answer as a right to stay with you. And it wasn’t like you would ask him to walk away.

“They keep telling me I must be breaking every girls’ heart and I don’t have the courage to tell them I don’t even have a girlfriend.” He sighed and took your drink.

You were acting like little adults in your own world. Drinking like life was too difficult to deal with, when all you had to care about was homework and karting for him. You chatted about some people you knew, mostly your parents’ mutual friends and some of their children like two gossips. And when the photographer asked if he could take a picture of you, you posed like two old friends.

It wasn’t until it was almost midnight that Charles offered to play a game of dares. Taking a picture with Arthur’s comforter. Both sharing a dance with someone the other had picked. Stealing someone’s piece of cake.

It started nicely. You had no idea that this would be the start and the thing that ruled your whole friendship.

You and Charles started to hang out more, or as much as you could since you had to ask your families every time. You had a weekly snack on Wednesday, and you convinced your parents to bring you to as many of Charles’ races.

As the years went on, it became easier to be best friends. You were calling each other all the time, sending stupid texts and would take the bus to each other’s places without your parents being there.

But never did the dares stop. They evolved with you.

As little children, you were still daring each other stupid and innocent things. Telling your parents, a whole crazy story that had actually happened in a movie. Asking Charles to steal his brother’s clothes and wear them for as long as Lorenzo doesn’t notice. Stealing a glass of wine…well this one wasn’t too innocent, and you both developed a hate for wine.

From children you became teenagers. And the dares became more adult. Or you tried to make yourself look more adult. You never dared each other to do dangerous things or anything. Just…stupidest. Like kissing someone you barely admitted having a crush on, missing a karting appointment to go to the beach (to your defense, it was your birthday) or participating in the school theater play. You were still a little mad that this started as a little dare, and you ended up with the main role.

But worse than that, you became teenagers that were slowly developing feelings. And none of you hesitated to dare the other some things that would make them jealous. You did kiss Max Verstappen after a racing kart when, stupidly, Charles dared you to kiss the winner. He thought he would win. He thought he would finally be able to kiss you, even if it was through a game. Thinking it would be less weird for the two of you.

He didn’t expect you to maintain the dare and kiss his worst opponent.

“I can’t believe you kissed him.”

You were in his family car, driving home from the race. His dad was outside, ordering food so you could spend the rest of the evening together at home. Charles was at the front. You could see him with his arms crossed and his angry face through the rearview mirror. “Then you shouldn’t have dared me to kiss the winner.” It wasn’t that you didn’t understand why he was mad. It was obvious. But still, it was his dare. Not yours.

“I was supposed to win!” he yelled, turning around to face you.

“And how is that my problem Charles? I didn’t ruin your race.”

His dad came back right after your reply. So, you didn’t get to hear his own answer to this. But you had time to think about it. The problem wasn’t that you kissed Max, even if you were pretty sure that he wouldn’t be that mad if it was anybody else. It was that you didn’t kiss him.

You spend the whole trip silently thinking about that.

“Charles wait!” you screamed when you were finally at this place and leaving the car. At first, he kept walking like he didn’t hear you. It was Charles: ignoring the problem rather than facing it. Even if the problem was one of his favorite people in the world.

Since he didn’t want to listen to you, you took the fan you brought to the race and threw it at him. “Eh!” he yelled, finally turning around to face you.

“Good, now you’re listening.” You walked to him with a big smile. You noticed how close he was to just walk away again and avoid the confrontation. But you didn’t give him the time. You grabbed his wrist to make sure he won’t leave. “I dare you…”

“Oh god, can we please st…”

“To kiss me. Charles.”

He didn’t expect that. And you could tell from the way his eyes grew big and his mouth opened without a single word coming out. “That’s where the problem lies, right? You thought I would kiss you there. Then I dare you to kiss me now.”

And he did. Because you had promised to never break a dare. And because he had been dreaming about this moment for so long.

So, Charles broke the small distance between the two of you. He approached his face so close to yours that you could feel the air coming out of his mouth. Your eyes stopped blinking to not miss every single moment of this. How he licked his lips. How his eyes were going down and forth between your eyes and your lips. How he brought his hand to your face.

You closed your eyes only when his lips finally touched yours.

It was a simple kiss. One shared but two teenagers who still had a hard time dealing with their feelings. That couldn’t find the line between game and reality.

It would be lying to tell you both didn’t abuse the kissing dare. It was almost like you couldn’t do it otherwise. It would be wrong.

You did it when you were both jealous of someone else. Especially because when you were both 18, you were playing with fire and flirting with more people than you should. You wanted to see which one would break first. Which would stop the game and say it’s over.

As much as you believed in yourself, you were convinced you would be the one giving in. Charles’ kisses were phenomenal. But they weren’t healing your broken heart. The one that kept breaking each time you were seeing him with someone new.

But Charles was the one who changed the game.

You were lying in his hotel bedroom, after partying during the post-race celebration. You were drunk, you were tired, and you were cuddling like it wasn’t hot outside. But you couldn’t resist Charles’ arms, how no matter where you were it will always bring you home. To a safe place where nothing could happen.

You looked at him, lying shirtless, with his wet and messy hair all around the pillow, his hand caressing your back. He looked like a living dream. Your living dreams. The one you had since you were a child. You brought a finger to his face and started to trace his lips. “Kiss me” he mumbled. You weren’t sure you heard him right. You sat up slightly to look at him right when he turned his head to look at you.

“You didn’t ask properly.” You replied with amusement in your voice.

“I don’t want to ask properly anymore.” He said, bringing his hand from your back to your neck.

Before you knew, your face was just above his. One movement and you kissed. One movement and you admit that it was more than a game for you.

One movement that you did.

That night, you didn’t need to dare him to make love to you either. For once, the game was put apart and forgotten.

And during the first weeks of your new and official relationship, you completely forgot about dare. You were living your love naturally. Without the constant thought of asking each other to do crazy things. Then it came back one day. Out of nowhere. For a stupid dare that didn’t even mean something. Just Charles daring you to go skinny dipping in your pool since you were alone.

But hearing him dare you was like listening to a song you haven’t heard in years. Eating a meal you haven’t been eating in months. Seeing a movie you haven’t seen since childhood.

It felt wrong. It felt weird. Somehow a little relieving too. Like nothing had changed.

And so it’s started again. Childish dares like you used to do. More sensual ones now that you were a couple. Stupider ones because you wanted to play with the limits. And sadder ones when you were arguing.

When it was good, the dares were fun.

When it was bad, the dares were terrible.

“Stop blaming me for your bad performances Charles!”

The Monaco GP was over for hours now. And Charles didn’t win either of the two F2 races. Worse, he couldn’t even finish them. You could understand that he was mad, that he was angry at the team for losing his home race. Here. In front of everyone.

That didn’t mean he had to let it all go on you.

“Then what am I supposed to do, hm?” You hated when he talked like that. Like a pretentious brat who couldn't understand that not everybody agrees with him. Like you were too stupid to understand that he could be angry.

“I don’t know, control your anger? Or at least, not fuming against me.”

“You don’t have to come if you can’t accept my bad moments. Don’t inflict that on me that.”

He wasn’t even looking at you. Drinking a stupid beer on his friend’s balcony, because he didn’t even want to come home and face his parents. Watching the party happening outside like a poor boy that wasn’t invited. It was wrong. He was invited. He didn’t want to celebrate somebody else, selfishly.

“You’re being mean, Charles.” You sighed, walking to him, hoping you could finally calm him down.

But then he hit. Harder. “You know what?” he asked, not even turning to you like you were important enough. “I dare you to not come to the next race. So, you won’t suffer from my terrible nature.”

He knew you wouldn’t say no. None of you ever said no to a dare. So, you waited a few seconds, expecting him to break it. But that never happened before either. When a dare was said, you had to respect it.

So many things happened in a month. So many things that made Charles regret even daring you this. He should have kept it to himself. Let the anger disappear before saying something so stupid.

He needed you in Baku. He needed you by his side after going through the worst event of his life.

But he dared you not to come.

And you respected it.

You watched your boyfriend doing a perfect race weekend from home. Winning the race for someone that wasn’t there. You should have been there. Hugging him. Kissing him. Telling him how proud you were instead of texting.

It made you realize how bad this situation was. How childish it was.

“This can’t go on.” You told him when he came back.

“What do you mean?” Charles asked without even needing an explanation. He knew.

It was obvious to the both of you that something had changed. That none of you had the heart to play those silly games anymore. But more than that. You both weren’t so sure you knew how to live with each other without them. Your whole relationship had been ruled by dares. Making decisions through them.

“Is this really the life you want for us? Not being able to talk to each other or ask anything without having to put dares between us?”

Selfilishy, you hoped Charles would reassure you. Take the bigger role and make sure you still believe in your relationship.

The truth was he was just as confused and scared as you were. Worse, he felt guilty and knew it was wrong. But he wasn’t sure he was mature enough to stop that.

“I don’t know.” He sighed and you looked at him silently, waiting for more. “I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what we can do. I know nothing ok? Life has been a mess and I know nothing anymore!” You could see in his eyes all the anger and frustration he was keeping for himself.

“I’ve spent most of my life with you. Look what we became.” There was something more in what Charles just said. More than just a fact you already knew.

He spent most of his life playing with you. But now, at 20, was it really the life he wanted? Was it how a sane relationship was supposed to be like? And if you don’t stop it now, how could you know how far you’ll go?

“Charles, I dare you…” you started with a broken voice.

“Wait, no, we can…” he tried to stop you. Because he perfectly knew where this was going. He knew the game. He knew the outcome.

“To stop seeing each other for five years.”

There it was. The ultimate dare. The one you both needed but refused to see. The one you had no other choice to say to finally find a way of getting better. Feeling better.

Being better lovers.

Charles didn’t even try to negotiate or change your mind. Because if you didn’t say it, he would have. For once, he was happy to not be the one taking the rough decision. “Can I get a last kiss?” He asked. No dare. No obligation. Just a request from a broken heart to another one.

And you were glad you accepted it. You kept the feeling of his lips on yours for weeks after that day. It made things a little easier.

At least it did until you started to forget how he tasted. Or how it felt to be in his arms. Or the smell of his perfume. Or how good you used to feel after he made love to you like you were the most important person in the entire world.

Five years was a lot. But you both understood after a while that you clearly need it to grow up and be a better person.

Not seeing him didn’t mean you couldn’t follow his career. You even cheated one day, during the first year, for the Monaco GP. You hide in the crowd to watch him race. A part of you thought that he didn’t win because the universe was waiting for the day you would be together again.

You watched Charles dating other people too. People that weren’t you. People that could touch him and love him like you were supposed to. Like you used to.

That was what made you start a relationship on your own. At first you secretly claimed it was to learn how to be a better girlfriend for Charles. But as the years went on and you noticed he was still with the same girl, you convinced yourself you had the right to be happy with someone else too.

Five years went faster than you thought. When the new year started, your only thought was that you were getting him back. But you couldn’t be sure you would. Maybe Charles loved his new life like it was. Maybe he didn’t even remember the dare or the date you could finally reconcile.

Maybe he didn’t love you anymore.

When Charles received the invitation, he knew it wasn’t a coincidence. As much as it broke his heart to see your name linked with your fiancé, he knew.

Your wedding was happening right on the date the last dare was supposed to end. You were getting married on the day Charles could finally see you again.

Charles didn’t forget about you either. You were always on his mind. When he started a race, he wanted to make sure you would hear about him winning. When he posted pictures with one of his girlfriends, he wanted to make you jealous. When he was alone, he was dreaming about you being by his side. For good.

None of his relationships lasted because he could never love them like he loved you. It wasn’t a surprise that he accepted to come to your wedding alone. Not like he would have brought anyone else, anyway.

“You look…stunning.”

Charles found his way to your dressing room. He waited a little to make sure you were by yourself. He didn’t have the heart to face anybody. Worse, face your fiancé.

But you were alone. Sitting in front of the mirror. Knowing deep well that today would change your life. Either for better or for worse.

When you turned around and saw Charles standing there, you knew the answer.

“You came.” you got up immediately, taking a step toward before stopping. You needed a minute to appreciate it. He was here. The same young adult you left five years ago today was in front of you. Looking more beautiful than ever. Looking more adult, more confident. Exactly like you always imagined Charles to look like in the future.

“You invited me.” He replied. Doing exactly the same thing. Appreciating the view of the woman he loved. Except he had to deal with something more. The sight of you in a wedding dress. Something he always dreamt to see. But for him. Not for any guy. “I would have traveled to the other side of the world to see you today.”

Facing each other, you realized why you decided to get married today. It would be the ultimate proof that your love was big enough to fight for.

“Do you love him?” His arms were crossed against his chest, like he was waiting impatiently for an answer. He looked like a professional negotiator here.

“Charles…”

“I said, do you love him?” The way he looked at you directly in the eyes was like the confirmation you needed. You both grew up. None of you need those stupids games anymore to be honest and say what you need to say or do what you need to do. Charles didn’t have to force you to speak the truth by daring you to do it. You were both honest and adults now.

Adults are still in love with each other.

“I don’t.” You started walking towards him like he was the light at the end of the tunnel. The one you’ve been chasing all these years and that you were finally seeing. You knew you could do no wrong by walking to him. “I love you, Charles.”

One second. It took him one second to grab your face between his hands and give you the passionate kiss you both needed. Again, you could feel the determination on the way he was holding you tight, making sure you wouldn’t leave again. Or the way he was kissing you so deeply almost like he needed to discover you again. Entirely. One of his hands got lost on your perfect styled hair.

Charles was here to destroy the engagement you made. So you could make a new one with him.

“Can I make one last dare?” He was breathless against your mouth. It reminded you of the countless times you let your excitement take the upper hand and have sex in the first intimate place you could find. You didn’t even have the strength to reply, too busy thinking about how bad you wanted his lips on yours again. So you simply nodded at his request.

You saw a smile growing on his face. “I dare you to run away with me.”

Eight words. Eight words that you never even wished to hear.

“You can never say no to a dare.” He told you the night you met.

You didn’t plan on saying no today. At least, not to him.

So you took Charles' hand. Or actually offered him yours.

Making a pact. Accepting a dare for the last time.

“I won’t let you go ever again.” He told you once you were sitting in his Ferrari, ready to ride together and forget about the mess your love created.

“Dare?”

“Dare.”

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steddieas-shegoes · 2 years ago

Note

Hello my love! ❤️

Another for you, if you’re still taking them, though of course feel free to ignore this for any reason (or even no reason) at all!

I would love to see what you can do with Steddie and James Arthur’s “Car’s Outside”. I feel like this is one Eddie would write for Steve, maybe after an argument..? 👀

I had to look this one up because I’d never heard it before and this is some emotional stuff I wasn’t prepared for but should’ve been when you said maybe after an argument 😭

Touring the country had been his dream for so long that when it became a reality, he forgot what was most important.

It happened to a lot of rockstars.

His reality check came like lightning, fast and sharp.

“I’m just trying to understand, Stevie. You wanted me to do this. You told me to go on the tours and record the albums. You supported me. What changed?”

“You did.”

That was the last thing Steve said to him over a week ago.

All he knew now was that Steve was back in Hawkins staying with Wayne and hadn’t told him much other than he wouldn’t take up too much room for long.

Wayne didn’t tell him anything except that Steve was alive and safe, but didn’t seem to be taking care of himself well.

The first two days, all Eddie felt was anger. He was full of contempt for Steve suddenly changing his mind about Eddie’s life and dreams.

But the third day was when it hit him that Steve left.

He’d avoided everyone after that, only answered the phone in case it was him calling and hanging up if it wasn’t him.

He barely got out of bed, barely ate, didn’t even go into the bedroom converted into a music room to play his guitar.

The next tour was set to start in two weeks and he didn’t think he could go, not like this, not without Steve here waiting for him.

- - - - -

Wayne called the night before he was leaving for the tour, said he needed to come to Hawkins, but wouldn’t say why.

“Are you sick or hurt?”

“No, Ed.”

“…is Steve?”

“Just get here.”

So Eddie did.

He called the guys and told them he would meet them at their first stop in New York in three days, that he had a family emergency and couldn’t travel on the bus with them.

When he got to Hawkins, he felt like turning right around and leaving.

He hadn’t been back in years; Wayne always came to see them for holidays and visits.

Nothing has changed, not even the trailer Wayne insisted on still living in, even when Eddie offered to buy him something nicer.

Steve’s car sat in the driveway next to Wayne’s truck, just like it did before they’d moved to Chicago to try to make Eddie’s dream happen.

Eddie parked next to him, the rental from the airport much cleaner and nicer than anything else around here, but not in a good way.

It clicked suddenly, that Eddie wasn’t the same. That the guy who used to drive a beat up van and live in this trailer and loved Steve so much it felt like a physical ache when he wasn’t around wasn’t here.

He walked up to the door, knocking like this wasn’t his home just five years ago.

Wayne answered, sullen face making his chest tight with worry.

“Where is he?”

“He’s asleep finally. Come on in, son. Have a seat.”

“What happened?”

Wayne sighed.

“He’s been overworking himself and not sleeping or eating, and it finally caught up to him. He’s had a migraine for three days now, longest I’ve seen. Can barely sit up to sip water but begged me not take him to the hospital.”

Eddie’s fists clenched.

“Why wouldn’t he go?”

Wayne blinked at him.

“Son, you’re not an idiot despite the way you’ve been actin’ for a while. Think about it.”

Wayne walked to the kitchen and started packing his lunchbox.

“Where are you going?”

“I got a shift to get to. Steve shouldn’t be alone.”

Eddie stayed on the couch for the next two hours, his brain shifting through thoughts that quickly turned into song lyrics.

He wrote them down, but barely focused on what he was writing. Now wasn’t really a great time to be producing something new.

He heard a groan from his old bedroom and shot up from the couch, making his way to the end of the hall and entering the room without a second thought.

Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed, body hunched and eyes closed, pain a physical presence through every inch of him.

“Stevie,” Eddie choked out.

Steve’s head shot up. He winced in pain, but the tears in his eyes didn’t seem to have much to do with that as Eddie got closer.

“What are you doing here?”

“Wayne called.”

“And?”

“If you need me, I’m gonna be here.”

Steve looked away, his eyes closing as he turned his head.

“That’s not how things have been.”

It hurt, but he was right. It hadn’t been how things have been. Not for a while.

“I know. I…I don’t think sorry is enough for any of it, but I am. I’m sorry. So sorry, Stevie.”

Steve looked at him, the haze of the migraine keeping a lot of emotion off his face.

“Yeah. Okay.”

It wasn’t forgiveness, and forgiveness wasn’t deserved yet, but it was a start. And when Steve let Eddie get him water and medicine, and play with his hair, it felt like a start.

- - - - -

Eddie had to go.

If he didn’t go, he’d miss the first show of the tour.

He’d be in deep shit, and the guys would hate him, and he would never make music again.

His manager called him every four hours at Wayne’s asking when his flight would be and he always said “when things are right with Steve.”

It started to feel like that might not happen.

But something about the way Steve was slowly letting him in, allowing him to care for him more every day, gave him hope that he could get him back, get them back.

Wayne didn’t say much to him, didn’t have to. The way he watched was enough to know how Wayne felt about him, this situation.

But he didn’t go.

Steve’s migraine was gone, but he still needed Eddie, still needed to see that he was the priority.

Eddie needed to show him that he mattered more than his band, because he did. He always had and always would.

He missed the last flight that would’ve gotten him there on time.

He called the guys to let them know, to apologize, to tell them that he had to do what was best for him.

They understood, but told him their manager was livid and probably would try to replace him instead of postpone the tour.

He didn’t care at this point.

He’d gotten his taste of fame and it was bittersweet.

Steve stood in the doorway when Eddie hung up the phone, watching him with his arms crossed as Eddie covered his face in his hands.

“You’re not going?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Eddie dropped his hands and sighed.

“If I have to pick, then I pick you. I’ll always pick you.”

Steve’s brows furrowed.

“You think I want you to pick between me and your career?”

“Yes. That’s why you left, isn’t it?”

Steve shook his head.

“I left because you forgot that I was a choice at all,” Steve’s voice sounded choked. “I left because I didn’t even think you’d care if I did. You didn’t seem to care much about leaving me anymore.”

Eddie’s heart couldn’t possibly break more.

“Sweetheart, of course I care. I’m here because I can’t lose you. If it’s you or the band, then it’s you. Always.”

Steve let out a sob.

“I didn’t want you to choose me instead of your career. I wanted you to recognize that choosing your career didn’t have to mean not choosing me.”

“Oh, my love.”

Eddie pulled Steve against him, holding the back of his head against his chest, other hand running up and down his back slowly.

“You’re always my first choice. I’m sorry I forgot to show you that. I’m sorry you ever had to feel like you weren’t even an option. You’re the most important choice I’ve ever made and I’m going to keep choosing you every day. Even if it means giving up the band. None of that means shit to me if I don’t have you.”

Steve nodded against his chest.

They stayed like that for so long, Wayne came home, nodded and smiled from the doorway of the kitchen.

- - - - -

Steve came with him.

He called his manager the next day, said it was non-negotiable that Steve be with them for this tour.

The band was on his side, of course. They loved Steve and they loved Eddie and the last thing they wanted was to see either of them hurting.

The first time he performed the song he wrote while he was in limbo with Steve, he let the crowd know what was most important in his life.

“Gonna slow it down a bit for this next one. Sometimes this life has some downsides, hard to believe, right? It’s hard to maintain who you are when you’re being pulled in so many directions. But I’m lucky to have someone who keeps me grounded. Leaving them for tour wasn’t an option this time around, and I’m glad they’re here with me. I wrote this a couple weeks ago when we were having a hard time. I wasn’t being the partner they needed, and I wasn’t showing them that they’re the partner I want. I’m not loving you from afar anymore, sweetheart.”

Steve watched from his spot backstage, like he did every night.

He didn’t feel like an option anymore, he felt like the choice.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #headcanon #rockstar eddie munson #angst with a happy ending

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xdacted · 1 year ago

Text

The art of sibling hood

Paring: sister!Reader & Charles Leclerc

Warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 3,815

Status: Complete

***Request made by reader***

Summer break offers us a sliver of peace.

No teams are calling, no coaches screaming, no clients to take care of - there is nothing but family. For a few weeks out of the year, all we have is each other. I can’t ask for anything better.

We all gather at our mother’s house, hiding away there with her. It’s nice, to all be under the same roof again, we haven’t been since Lorenzo first moved out. It only worsened when I decided to take my training to France. 16 years of living under one roof was gone in an instant. We had lived together our entire lives until that point.

It was like losing a piece of myself.

But then, after the sadness rolled away, I was filled with so much joy. To know that both Charles and Arthur were chasing their dream, to see them every weekend battling it out on the track. Though my mother refused to watch, I always did.

But there is always more I want to know, more I want to see. I can’t help myself from asking questions. The countries they see, the people they meet - it’s a world I’ll never know. I almost got involved, my father put me in karting as a child, but it was never my passion. Not the way it was with Arthur and Charles. I found my calling in school.

At six, I was sitting among my classmates in the gymnasium, watching as our instructor introduced the sport of fencing. He was trying to start a club, with a school as small as ours, it wasn’t very likely to happen.

He brandished the swords, explaining the rules. My friend, Anies, had fallen asleep on my shoulder, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I was transfixed, hooked. That day, I ran home, with the club papers in my hand and begged my parents.

At first, Papa was hesitant, telling me that this sport was a fighting spot - I wasn’t a ‘fighting girl’. But I pleaded, hooking my arms around his neck and staring up at him. This was my dream. Fencing was racing to me. Fencing was everything.

What I didn’t understand was that fencing was also incredibly expensive. With two children karting and one in fencing, I remember the night I caught Mum and Papa talking it over, they couldn’t afford it.

I was lucky enough to be given a scholarship by a fencing club, I would have the funding to chase my dream. Arthur, however, was not so lucky. I remember how he cried, screaming and howling into his pillow. He mourned the loss of his sport, but he was never angry. Just sad.

I shake off the memories when Charles calls my name.

“What?”

He looks at me, staring at me from his seat on the floor, arms holding his knees close to him. He and Arthur are playing some card game they explained more than once - but I have never cared to learn. Arthur glares at the cards below him, flipping them over in his hand.

He laughs, “I asked how training was going?”

“Good,” I burrow further into the couch, pulling a blanket across my shoulders, “When I go back, I have a tournament in Italy.”

“Well,” Arthur huffs, still fixed on the game, “You’re already a World Champion - Ugh! Charles, you’re cheating! This is why I hate playing with you!”

Charles throws his hands up, turning to Arthur with an indignant expression, “I am not a cheater. I am a man of honor, you just suck.”

With a curse, Arthur throws his cards down.

He stands, “You’re a cheat and you know it.”

“You just don’t know how to lose.”

Arthur throws himself beside me, moving the pillows so he can lean against them, crossing his arms in front of him. I don’t have to hide my laughter, I let it slip from me. The laughter is easy, the tension from yesterday gone. Charles had still been insistent on apologizing, even when I told him to just drop it.

My brother is one of the kindest people in the world.

“What about you?” I dare to ask, offering Arthur some of my blanket, “How’s Ferrari treating you?”

I don’t need to ask because I already know. Even from across the world, every Sunday, I watch him. Every Sunday, I watch my brother get into that car and put his life on the line. And every Sunday I watch Ferrari screw him over. My teammates were getting far too tired of my outbursts.

Charles clears his throat, looking down at the cards scattered across the floor. He sweeps them together, shuffling them, “Fine.”

“Fine?”

I’m stepping on thin ice. My brothers like to assume that when it came to racing they knew everything, but I had grown up around this. My father was a racer and now my brothers were racers - it was in my blood. I had just chosen not to pursue it.

“Yes, fine.” He pushes himself up, standing and walking to the edge of the couch.

“If you say so, brother,” Charles opens his mouth to speak, but the sound of the doorbell cuts him off.

He practically leaps over the couches, nearly tripping over the carpet, to throw the door open. My mother hardly has time to scold him as she steps inside her room because cheery voices are ringing out through the house.

“Hello!”

Lorenzo comes bounding from upstairs and Arthur rolls off the couch, kicking the blanket away from him. The three women who step inside the house bring the light of the shining sun with them.

“Girls!” I cry, it has been so long since I’ve last seen them.

Carla sees me first, throwing her hands in the air. She pushes past Arthur to sweep me into a hug. The position is awkward, as her body curves over the couch and I attempt to reach up to her, but I can feel her laughter vibrate within her chest.

“Did you get in today?” Her eyes are shining and the glasses perched atop her head threaten to fall, “Why didn’t you text me?”

“I wanted to surprise you, of course!” When we pull away, Charlotte and Alexandria are right beside us.

“We need to get breakfast while you’re here,” Charlotte says, pressing her hands together. It isn’t so much a request as it is a plan in motion.

I just nod along. I look around, my brother’s waiting behind them with crossed arms and a less-than-pleased expression.

“What?”

“They’re supposed to be here to see us.”

“No,” Charlotte says, wrapping her arms around me, “We’re here for her and of course - Pascale.”

“Hello, dear,” Mum says, Carla placing welcoming kisses on her cheeks.

I turn to my left, Alex having taken a seat in the open space that Arthur left.

“Hey,” I whisper, pulling her close.

“Hi,” She whispers back.

There’s something different. I can tell when she hugs me, pressing a kiss on my cheek. When we pull away, there’s a glow to her skin and a twinkle in her eyes.

“Is there -?”

Charles is draped across her in a second, gentle hands on her shoulders, “She is my girlfriend. Please, do not be selfish.”

Alex only rolls her eyes and I can’t help but follow.

What a drama queen.

__________

I watch Charles and Alex as Mum bustles around the kitchen. It’s little, but something is different. I can feel it. Something about the way Charles has an arm curled around her waist or the way she clings to his arm. They keep eyeing the rest of us, Alex turning around to whisper in his ear.

Hm. How strange.

Alex was quite shy, this much became evident when I first met her, but she was by no means afraid of the family. Just a few weeks earlier she had come to visit me in France, we spent the day together and had been texting each other constantly.

What could it be?

I met her eyes and she sharply turned away from me.

A secret then.

Papa liked to say that I inherited Mum’s gift for reading people, especially my brothers. Even when we’re separated by seas, I know when something’s bothering them. I know when something is wrong.

But this - this was different.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

But, my mind can help but wonder, what if - no. Could it be?

“Arthur.”

He hardly looks up from his phone, “Hm?”

“Wanna make a bet?”

“What kind of bet?” He asks, still scrolling.

I lean in closer, “I think Alex is pregnant.”

Arthur nearly drops his phone. He whips his head over to look at me, mouth agape, “What?!”

“Sh!” I smack his arm, he is going to give us away, “You’re so loud…”

“Why do you think she’s pregnant?” He whisper-shouts, “That’s crazy. Charles would’ve told us.”

“Maybe he’s going to tell us tonight,” I shrug, pulling away from him.

“Are you in or out?” I crossed my legs, my gut feelings were always strong. I’d guessed many things over the years and felt a change within the people around me before they told me. I’d known Charles got signed to Ferrari before he told us, or that Arthur was going to be moved to F2, or that Lorenzo had met someone new - all of these things, I’d felt. All of these things I guessed.

Maybe I was a bit psychic.

“You’re on,” He stuck his hand out, “€10?”

I scoffed, “That’s nothing - €100.”

“You could be wrong.”

“I could be right,” I looked down at his waiting hand.

“€50?”

I slapped my hand in his, “€50 it is!”

“You’re going down,” He whispered, squeezing my hand. I kick at his shin.

“Ow!”

“That’s what you get, dumbass.”

“LANGUAGE!”

__________

Dinner is an easy affair. The time ticks by slowly, but none of us mind. Warm and laughter fill the house, everyone staying at the table after the food has long been eaten. Stories are tossed around and jokes float about, it's peaceful.

A peace that’s so very addicting.

Here, I can forget that I have to leave in only a few days. I can tell that the boys forget too, throwing themselves over Mum and the table. Arthur laughs so hard that he snorts and Lorenzo’s jokes have Charles reduced to tears - it’s all so nostalgic.

As we eat, I can see Charles and Alex glance at each other, watching as he scoops her hand in his. She whispers something in his ear and he nods.

Before I know it, they are both standing.

“I,” He clears his throat, “I have something to say - well, we do, actually...”

“Well,” Alex begins, a bright smile pulling over her face, “Charles and I are expecting a - a child.”

The table erupts into cheers and exclamations. Mum drops her head into her hands, and before we can rush over, she looks up with tears in her eyes and a dazzling smile on her lips. We stand to offer them hugs and kisses, pats, and words of encouragement.

“I told you!” I cry.

Arthur lets out a loud groan, pushing his face into his hands, “Why?”

Confusion is written across their face and I can only laugh

I hold out a waiting hand.

With another groan and a roll of his eyes, he shoves his hand into his pockets, pulling out the €50 I’m owed. The bill is crunched and he drops it into my palm with little fanfare.

“This is so unfair,” Arthur throws his arms around my shoulders, “How could you have possibly known?”

“I just do,” I shrug, looking up at him with a smile, “I’m just that good.”

“I knew it,” Carla giggles, “You are a psychic.”

I lock eyes with Mum over the table, she flashes me a smile.

“Of course,” I say, “I learned from the very best.”

__________

The ocean calls our name, the lull of the tides and the crashing of the waves. Such a beautiful song and we can do nothing but dance to it. With the sun shining down on our backs, we pile into Charles’s boat, clinging to the railing as we push away from the dock. The salt of the air tangles in my hair, and gentle winds give us a beautiful day. The weather was perfect, the sea was calm. What more could we ever ask for?

We spend the day lounging about the boat, pushing and shoving each other in the water. I manage to convince Charles to let me take the smaller boat out for a spin, with Carla clinging to the seats, and Charolette cheering us on from the deck above. I can’t help but dissolve into laughter at his face, twisted with worry.

The water is cool against our heated skin, it invites us in for more. The longer we stay, the more we forget about the world that surrounds us. It is nearly enough to make me forget about my flight in only a few days. I will have to leave and this will all become a memory.

But what a beautiful memory it will be.

I can’t dwell on my thoughts, because Charlotte demands that we all jump. There is little fanfare for Charles and Lorenzo as they practically wrestle to the sea below. Arthur grips my hand as we jump, throwing ourselves into the Moncao air, caught by the arms of the sea.

It is perfect. It is home.

When the sun begins to dip in the sky, my mother draws herself up from the couch and claims that dinner will not ready itself. The others agree and begin to shuffle off but Carla and I are the last to get back from the boat. Though Charles has always held the title of ‘captain’, I have always maintained that the sea is but a little requirement for boating. We stayed behind to just lounge about in the sun, only coming back to the house when she got a frantic call from Arthur, telling her to come back.

“What’s…” The words die in our throats when we see Alex huddled in the corner, sobbing into her hands. Charlotte stands over her, rubbing a reassuring hand over her back, whispering something into her ear.

Before we can say another word, Arthur and Lorenzo interrupt us. He pulls us into a corner of the house, wiping his hands on his shorts. His eyes dart around the room, lip caught between his teeth.

“What happened?” Carla demands.

“It - it was the press,” Arthur manages, “They got pictures from earlier, on the boat.”

I need to hear little else. I dig my phone from my bag.

Finding the photo doesn’t take much work. It’s there as soon as I open Twitter, Alexandria and Charles standing on the balcony of the boat. Her hands on her stomach, nothing there to show - not yet - but the implication is enough for the media to run with.

I can hardly breathe.

Anger coils tight within me.

Fucking vultures.

Carla gasps from beside me, pressing a hand to her mouth. The headlines make my stomach turn. Far too atrocious to look at, I shove my phone back into my bag. Carla is quick to slip from beside me, rushing over to the couch, and dropping to her knees beside Alex.

Haven’t they gone through enough? Have people not thrown Alex into the fire already? Had they not already ripped her apart? I remember the articles and the tweets when their relationship went public, the look of sadness on her face. People hated her simply because she loved Charles. How they got together and why they got together was no one’s business but their own.

“Where -” I cut myself off, dropping my voice lower, “Where’s Charles?”

For a moment, Lorenzo doesn’t answer me, phone in hand. I can’t tell who’s calling, but the grave look on his face is all I need to know. He shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair.

“He’s outside,” He whispers, sparing a look over at Alex, “He stormed out and won’t come back in.”

“Of course! He’s upset!” I hiss, this was private. This was personal. The media has taken that away from him.

Lorenzo holds his hands up, “I’m not saying he shouldn’t be - I’m not saying that I’m not,” He sighs, “But this is more - this is more than just…”

He looks away, rubbing a hand over his face, “He can’t run from this now.”

I turn away from Lorenzo and the tears begin to gather in my eyes before I can gather the courage to force them back. I wrap my arms around myself, afraid that I might throw something across the room.

This wasn’t right.

Summer is our time.

There is never any anger, never any sadness. That’s the world that waits beyond the walls of our home, that is the world we leave behind. We shut it all out because summer break is just us. I don’t realize that I’ve begun to dig my fingers into the flesh of my arm until Arthur yanks my hands away.

He doesn’t say anything, just squeezing my hands in his. I can’t look at him, but I feel his gaze on me. When he releases me, my hands drop back down to my sides. I suck in a large gulp of air, trying to calm the pounding of my heartbeat.

Before I can make my way to Alex, Charlotte stops me. She holds her hand up, a sad smile on her face.

‘We’ve got it,’ She mouths, ‘Go.’

Her eyes flicker to the terrace, doors closed tightly. I can see, in the shadows of the darkness, Charles.

“I’ll be back,” I whisper, reaching out to squeeze Arthur’s shoulder before I walk towards the doors.

I gently push them open, waiting for Charles to scream out that he wasn’t privacy, that he needs space, but he never does

I step through.

Charles stands out on the balcony, hands clutching onto the terrace railing. He stares into the swaying trees of our backyard, the melting sun casting a glow around the shadow of the house. Though the wind blows, there is no twinkle of windchimes. There is no echo of laughter or memory of youth, there is nothing. The light from the entry room spills across his back, but he doesn’t turn.

The silence is thick, sitting heavily atop the both of us. With his back turned to me, I can’t see his face. There’s a selfish part of me that never wants to. I never want to see the pain and anger on my brother’s face. I never want to watch his heart fall apart before me. He is my family, an extension of myself.

“Why can’t they just leave us alone?”

His voice is hardly above a whisper, nearly consumed by the distant sounds of the city, but I hear. It cuts through the silence, piercing it with ease. There is sadness in his voice and I can feel the tears burn once more. His shoulders slump forward, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. For a movement, I fear that he might collapse.

I take a tentative step forward.

My brother is many things. Charles is competitive and rash, he is hard-working and self-deprecating. But he is also kind and forgiving, with a smile like the sun and a laugh like the sea. He is good. Our Papa used to say that Lorenzo and I got all the anger and bite, as it never seemed that Charles could hate, to be spiteful.

Always the first to take the blame, always the first to vouch, always the first to arrive, always the last to go.

My brother is good.

And the world is cruel.

“Charles,” I whisper, he doesn’t turn.

I reach for him, my fingertips barely grazing the fabric of his shirt, “Charles.”

He finally turns, biting his lip, tears in his eyes. The words die in my throat. There is nothing I can say to fix his pain, nothing I can do to take his unhappiness away. It kills me. They may be my older brothers, but I have always been fiercely protective of them. To hurt them was to hurt me - and to hurt them was unforgivable.

And Charles.

Charles, who flew through the night to catch my competitions. Charles, who cheered me on, even if he knew nothing about fencing. Charles, who always had an extra Paddock Pass for me. Charles, who always let me have his last cookie or pastry. Charles, who held me when I wailed for weeks after Papa’s passing. Charles put the money he earned in Formula 1 into getting Arthur back into carting. Charles, who always called to scream ‘Happy Birthday’ in my ear.

That Charles.

My brother Charles, would forgive. He will see it as a mistake, he will blame himself. In only a few hours, he will make a statement and tell the truth - because that’s just who he is.

I throw my arms open and catch him as he falls into them.

He doesn’t cry, not at first, just clinging onto me. But then, the moment that Alex’s cries drift onto the open terrace, he begins to weep. He sobbed into my shoulder, pressing his wet face into the fabric of my shirt. He clutches my hand, and I can do nothing but hold him.

I hold him and let him fall apart.

From over Charle’s shoulder, I see Arthur peeking out at us. He wrings his hands, twisting his fingers around. He can’t sit still, pacing around the room, brushing Carla away when she tries to calm him.

I gesture for him to come and he does.

Before I can say a word, he’s wrapping his arms around Charles, burying his face into his back.

“We’ll fix this,” He mumbles, “I - I don’t know how, but we will.”

Charles doesn’t speak, he just searches for Arthur’s hand blindly in the pile of libs and holds on. It’s all we can do. I feel like I am 15 years old, losing our father again. It feels just as it did then, unbearable. But we do just what we did then, we hold each other. Clinging onto the only people that we have known since before we knew them, the only people that will love us even when no one else does.

The only person -

Lorenzo is there, strong arms trying to tuck us all into him. I can feel his warmth against my back and push my face into his chest.

“We’ve got you, Charlie,” He says, “We’ve got you.”

We do.

We always will.

_________________________

A/N:This work has been cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. All are under the name XDACTED. Thank you for reading and feel free to request fics about any of the drivers <3

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arcturusqww · 3 months ago

Text

Arthur pendragon x blind! reader Hcs+small fic in the end

Warnings: Fem reader, blowjob, pet names(love, good girl etc.), pussy slapping, hair pulling.

Info: Fluff, smut under the line. Arthur has both arms.

-This man is would never and NEVER let you get hurt

-So the castle is rebuilt all over with chaos, no sharp edge left, smaller steps etc

-He gets rid of any possible harm

-“Feel safe whenever you’re walking, my love, i made sure nothing’s going to harm your pretty self.”

-He already doesn’t like you doing things on your own so he’s happy that you’re restricted smh

-Tho, he’d never say that to your face since he knows it’s a sensitive topic for you

-“Don’t get up, love. I’ll get it for you.”

-Chaos is always at your service as well

-Purple hands guiding you, helping you eat, change, shower… anything you can think of

-If you miss a step, he’ll just make a step appear or a big plush for you to fall on

-“Got you, careful there, love.”

-He makes an effort to not to startle you

-Always talks before touching you so that you won’t feel startled, even for a second

-“It’s just me, don’t worry.”

-He doesn’t let you be alone with someone he doesn’t trust

-He knows you’d be easy to take advantage of because of your condition

-So unless he trusts the other person with his whole being—4 evils, probs— they can’t get near you, let alone be alone with you

-If you ever feel insecure about it, he’ll be there

-Constant reassurance, telling you how much he loved you and that it doesn’t matter

-I said it before, he’s even happy that he has a reason to do everything for you

-So it’s a good thing for him, really

-But he also understands how you feel and will always make sure you’re secure and happy with the way you are

-“Nonsense. Why would it matter? You’re my queen.”

-If you feel you’re taking up so much of his time he’ll be offended

-Excuse you? He’s always available for you

-What kind of a king would he be if he can’t even take care of his queen?

-“Haha, your jokes are funny, my love. I’m being too busy for you? Impossible!”

-I said he doesn’t want to startle you but if he’s feeling teasing he may take quiet steps and stand in front of you before giving your cunny a small slap

-Tho, you’d know it’s him from the hearty laugh that follows after— no one else would dare to touch you anyway

-“Haha! boo.”

-He guides you, helping you find his cock, fixing your hole on it

-He mumbles encouragements to you if you want to do it without his help

-“You got it, love. Good girl, go ahead. I’m so proud of you. Mhm, right there.”

-It feels edging

-He loves it when you start from his legs to go up to his cock

-He watches when you try to put it in your mouth, accidentally making his hardness press against your cheek then drag your mouth to it

-“You look so hot like this.”

-Viewing your condition as a blindfold kink is a no for him if you aren’t interested

-But if you are into it then he will happily play along and include bondages

-“You like it when i do whatever i want to you, do you? Good girl, so wet for me.”

-Aftercare is all on him most of the time

-He lays you down, cleans you up then himself and probably massages your body

-He doesn’t like receiving after care from you since he thinks it’d be harder for you than the usual

-But if you’re too willing, he’ll guide you

——————————————————————————

“Mm, yeah right there, love.” Arthur mumbles softly while gently holding your hair in the back of your head in a bun with one of his hands.

Your hands wandered over his smooth thighs. They rode up to his v line before moving right back on his balls. You grope them suddenly without a warning, it earned a sharp moan from him. “Sorry..” He just hummed in response to your apology, massaging your scalp in a soothing manner.

You continued. His half hard cock grew harder with your hands stroking up and down on his shaft. He helped you guide your mouth onto his tip, gently pulling your hair back before pushing it towards the pink tip. Pre-cum started to leak when your lips wrapped around it. He let out a small moan his empty hand moved to your cheek. He gave it a small tap and rubbed his thumb against your cheek.

“Good girl..” He hummed softly while you took more of his cock in your mouth, one of your hands went to his balls and rubbed them with the inside of your hand, the other one still stroking the parts that wasn’t in your mouth.

After a small while you took most of his shaft in your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat. His balls and the rest of his cock still getting stroked by your hands. His expression was flushed, he gritted his teeth when small grunts left through.

His eyebrows knit together and he started to buckle his hips upwards and helping you move your head up and down on his cock by your hair, trying to reach his high a little bit faster. He let out a louder groan while he spilled his seed into your throat. His knit eyebrows eased up.

“Thank you, my love.” He murmured with his chest rising up before easing out with a long, satisfied sigh. You slowly pulled your mouth away from his cock, making sure to collect the sticky cum on your tongue and gulping it down.

#arthur pendragon x reader smut #arthur pendragon #arthur pendragon x reader #7ds #seven deadly sins #4koa #four knights of the apocalypse #smut #fluff #hcs

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jessicaloons · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 10:

You been stressed out lately. Yeah, me too…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"Take care, ma belle!" I said and she nodded.

"We will text every day!" she said and I smiled, as best as I could.

"Pinky promise?" I looked her in the eyes.

"Pinky promise!" she blushed a little.

After one last kiss on her forehead she walked to the car and got in, then opened the window.

"Good luck in Portimaõ, Charlie bear!" she said with that beautiful smile that made my knees go weak. JK started the car and they drove off. I walked on the streets, watching as the car turned left. And she was gone. I don’t know how long I stood there, as someone said my name.

"Charles? What are you doing in the middle of the road?" Joris asked and I turned around "Get off there, mate!"

"I was saying goodbye to Lizzie." I swallowed hard and walked back to my house, Joris following me.

"Oh… I see. It’s good for her, I guess? She wasn’t having it the easiest here, right?" he said and I looked at him a little confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked and he just shrugged his shoulders as we stepped into the elevator.

"Well, it was loud, busy, she couldn’t catch a break outside." he said hastily and I eyed his expression. In the last months I had more than once the feeling that Joris wasn’t completely honest with me, that he was hiding something. And not just him, also Riccardo, Marta and even Arthur. But I couldn’t grasp what.

"You sure that’s it?" I asked again and Joris closed his eyes for a moment "Joris?"

"There’s a video. From you and Lizzie. On your boat… when Lizzie had a little problem with… you know…" he began and my eyes widened. I knew exactly what he meant "Yeah, well anyways, someone filmed it and put it on Instagram… she saw it…"

"When was this? And why haven’t you told me that?" I was mad.

"On Friday, that’s why she asked us to not talk about it. She didn’t want to ruin your birthday…" he said and I scoffed. That’s so typical for her.

"That’s why she was coming back from the toilet looking like she cried? Not because it was all too much? It was because of that video!" I said and Joris nodded "Great. And no one told me. Were there some more posts like that over the last months?"

"Umm… yeah. A few more…" Joris admitted and I stormed out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened. As Joris walked in and closed the door I was already sitting on the sofa, looking through Instagram.

"Show me, the accounts, the videos, everything…" I insisted and he shook his head "Joris! Show me!"

"Charles, it won’t help Lizzie at all if you see them, there were really mean ones and she was relieved that you didn’t know about them. So please, don’t look at them now!" Joris pleaded and I looked for it myself, searched for Lizzie’s name as a hashtag, but after a couple of minutes I put my phone down. They were putting her down, bashing her, it wasn’t just a bunch of sexist comments that she’s overrated and compared to "real" drivers she wouldn’t stand a chance, no, there were fan accounts taking everything she was doing apart, the way she dressed, the jokes she made, the way she behaved, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Other’s were comparing her with Camille and how much prettier and well fitting Camille was for me. Which was ridiculous, Camille was pretty, no doubt, but Lizzie’s beautiful, natural, simply gorgeous. And in what way did Lizzie behave wrong? I read through some comments and they were all just nasty.

"So this has been going on for the last year?" I said after I had composed myself.

"Yeah… once I found out about it I confronted her, but you know her! She was playing it down, saying she didn’t care about it. She just wanted me to not tell you about it, because it was a little embarrassing, her words not mine, and she didn’t want you to see that…" Joris sighed.

"This stops now. I will post something." I said and picked up my phone again.

"Charles, don’t do that! These haters will blow up her phone as soon as whatever you’re planning to do is out… she’s away from it all now, she can heal! So let her do that in peace!" he pleaded and I looked at him for a while.

"I hate it when you’re right…" I mumbled and leaned back "She will be okay, right? Lizzie? She will get over all of this bs and… she’ll be the old Lizzie again?” My old Lizzie.

"I think so…" Joris answered and plopped down next to me "It’s going to be good for her, focusing on herself without… without any other thoughts."

"Yeah, she needs that now." I said and nodded. I wanted nothing more than for her to recover, not just physically, but also mentally, because as it seemed there was a lot of damage as well. I was mad at her for not telling me. But on the other hand, it was typical for her, always putting anyone else first before thinking about herself. She was the most selfless person I’ve ever known and most of the time she was this selfless because of me. That’s why it hurt even more reading her post in the evening. I knew that she was playing it down how she felt, but I didn’t know that it was this bad. How couldn’t I see it? How couldn’t I see how bad the last weeks, no the last year, was for her mental health? Maybe I should’ve focused more on her…

"So, have you thought about it?" Camille asked and I looked up at her confused "Us, moving in together?"

"Umm… well, no, not really. Sorry, there’s just so much going on right now, you know? Lizzie, the race tomorrow, the media, I just… I just hadn’t had the time to do so!" I said and Camille rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, we’ll you should focus on the race tomorrow, that’s the only important thing right now…" she sounded mad, I nodded absently and she sighed and got up "I’ll take a shower, you’re coming with me? Charles?"

"Huh? Oh, no, no I gotta go and see Andrea…" I lied and scrambled up.

"Why?" Camille asked.

"I feel a little tense in my shoulder blades, I want him to take a look…" I grabbed my phone and key card "Don’t wait up…" I left the room and leaned against the wall. Why couldn’t she stop talking about moving in together? We’re not even dating for a year!

I pushed the button for the elevator and as the door opened I stepped in without looking.

"Charles? Are you okay?" I looked up at Sebastian "You’re a little pale?"

"Umm… yeah, I just- I just… I don’t even know what to say." I mumbled and leaned against the elevator.

"Where were you going?" he asked me and I shrugged my shoulders "Alright, then I guess you’re coming with me."

The elevator doors opened and we were one floor above mine. I followed Seb and as he opened up the door to his hotel room he gesticulated for me to walk in first.

"Look, Daddy is back!" I heard Hanna say in German as Seb closed the door behind me.

Emilie and Matilda ran up to us but stopped abruptly.

"Girls, say hi to Charles!" Seb said and they smiled at me, both a little shy "Oh come on, you’ve seen him before!" he picked up Matilda and walked further into the room, signaling me to follow him. As we entered the lounge area of his suite Hanna got up from the sofa, carrying little Philipp, and gave me a little side hug.

"Hi Charles, what a pleasant surprise!" she smiled at me and sat back down "Come on, sit down!"

"I don’t want to interrupt or anything!" I said, now I was the one being a little shy.

"Oh no, you’re not interrupting! We’re just watching a movie before the kids go to bed." Hanna said and the girls started to protest.

"Nooo! Can’t we watch another movie?"

"Pleeeeeaaaaseeee!"

"No, we said one movie! And I even got you ice cream!" Seb said and gave the girls each a bowl of ice cream who sat down on the floor at the coffee table, then he sat one bowl down in front of me and Hanna and took the sleeping boy out of his mums arms "I won’t tell anyone, I promise." he winked at me and I laughed.

"Thanks!" I chuckled and took the bowl "So, what are we watching?" I looked at the girls and Matilda looked up.

"Frozen! Do you know it?" she asked me excitedly and I nodded "We just started, so you didn’t miss anything!"

"That’s good! I don’t want to miss all the good parts!" I said and she laughed, then she pressed play.

After a while Emilie got up and plopped down in between her parents and Matilda looked up at the slightly full sofa, she then looked at me and decided to scooch in next to me in the big armchair I occupied. Seb looked over and smiled at me as I was adjusting my arm so the little girl was leaning comfortably on me.

As the end credits rolled, I looked down and Matilda yawned and slowly sat up.

"You’re a nice pillow!" she chuckled a little and I laughed.

"Thank you! I think that is the best compliment I’ve ever got!" I said and she smiled.

"Alright girls, come on, time for bed!" Hanna got up and extended her hands for the girls to take "Say good night to Daddy and Charles. Come on now!" Both girls hugged Seb carefully who gave both his daughters a kiss on the cheek, then Emilie walked up to me.

"Good night, Charles." she whispered, still a little shy.

"Good night, Emilie." I smiled at her and she grabbed her mum's hand.

"Good night, Charlie!" Matilda hugged me and then walked to her mum as well.

"Good night, Matilda!" I laughed and watched them disappear into the attached bedroom.

"I think Emilie has a little crush on you!" Seb chuckled and I blushed a little "She talks a lot about you, when you’re not around, of course." he looked at me for a moment "So, why were you wandering around, looking like you’ve seen a ghost? Not knowing where to go?"

"I needed a bit of time away from… from my girlfriend…" I confessed quietly and he just nodded.

"I get that, sometimes I need a little breather as well, I mean especially now with the kids." he said and I looked up "Yeah, it gets kinda loud at times. I mean, I can’t always bribe them with ice cream and Disney movies."

"Probably not, no!" I laughed.

"So, I need a breather because I have now 3 little monsters running around, you need a breather because of your girlfriend…?" he looked at me and I sighed.

"She’s just a little clingy at the moment and wants us to move in together… but I…" I exhaled deeply, contemplating my next words.

"But you’re in love with Lizzie and you don’t know what to do?" I looked at him with wide eyes "Oh come on, Charles. The way you look at her? Talk about her? The way your face lights up whenever someone else talks about her? How you smile when you’re texting with her? I think the only person on this planet who doesn’t know about your feelings for her is Lizzie herself! And that’s because she’s just as oblivious as you!"

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked and Seb laughed.

"Well kinda. But I’m glad that you at least don’t deny it." he answered and I laughed now.

"I tried to, for years. But no, not anymore…" I said and Seb nodded.

"That’s good, but, with all due respect, why are you dating Camille then? I mean I only talked once with her and she seemed to be nice, but still?" Seb asked and I swallowed hard.

"Lizzie and I are… she’s- umm she’s the most important person for me, she was always by my side and just the sheer thought of losing her? Because she doesn’t feel the same? Or even if she feels the same, it’s not working out somehow? I think, no I know, that I couldn’t survive it!" I explained and Seb looked at me for a while.

"I think it’s clear as day that she loves you as well. But maybe she has the same fears? So I think you should just tell her. And break up with that girlfriend of yours that you’re clearly not loving. It’s not fair to her and for yourself." he said and I nodded slowly.

"Maybe, but for now Lizzie has to focus on herself. She needs to focus on her recovery. I promised her I would do anything to help her get into F1. So she needs to be ready when I finally and miraculously keep that promise." I said determined and Seb nodded.

"Yeah, about that… you don’t know about it from me… but back when I was driving for BMW Sauber, one of the managing engineers there was Felix Bayer. He’s heavily involved in the upcoming Audi F1 team… we stayed in touch over the years. And it looks like we might see them way earlier on the grid than we all thought." Seb was smirking a little.

"Do you think they would consider Lizzie?" I asked excitedly and Seb nodded slowly.

"They want a young driver and an experienced one. And they want one German driver. Do you still have all of your old videos from karting? Perfect. Maybe someone should edit a little application video for Lizzie, highlighting her abilities and strengths. And then maybe someone should send it to Felix…" Seb raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe someone should do that!" I answered.

"She’s already on their radar, but you know, a little advertising never killed anybody." he chuckled.

"She is?" I asked.

"Since last season… but they’re a little worried about her recovery though… I said to Felix that if anyone can do it, then it’s Lizzie." Seb stated and I nodded.

"That is true." I smiled, thinking about our dream of both driving in F1 might be coming true. Finally. "Alright. I leave you to it." I said and got up, as Seb wanted to get up as well I just shook my head "No, stay. He looks so relaxed. Don’t wake him. I’ll find my way out alone." he nodded and leaned back down.

"Good night, Charles. Rest up well for tomorrow!" he said and smiled at me.

"Good night, Seb! You too!" I walked to the door but stopped and turned around "And Seb? Thank you! For everything! I will miss you next season. A lot."

"I’m still on the grid, kiddo, you can always come to me, no matter what!" he said and I smiled.

"Thank you." I left.

P4. Not the worst result. But still no win. Not even a podium. Camille left already and I was sitting in my drivers room. Calming myself down a little. The media was asking me only about Carlos today, how I felt with him being so good as he’s going to be my new team mate. The internet made it only worse. All the comments about how he will dominate me next season, how he will be the clear number 1 driver. That all was still in my head as Lizzie called and I tried my best to hide it from her, I failed, as always. She just knew me too well.

"You shouldn’t look so relieved when your girlfriend tells you she won’t come to the race track because she’s sick?" Andrea said as I hung up with Camille.

"I’m not! It’s just, it’s better like this for her if she’s sick! I don’t want her to come if she’s not feeling well!" I said and Andrea just shook his head.

"Sure, if you say so." he mumbled and waited for me to get back into position "How is Lizzie doing?"

"She’s good. Being in Switzerland seems to really help her…" I answered and he smiled.

"She’s one of the strongest people out there, that’s why you and her are this close!"

"Because she’s so strong?"

"No, because you’re both strong. But I know that she helped you through a lot and I think you and her are good for each other. It’s like you’re soulmates, so yeah…"

"I get it."

"Let’s get you into your car."

I closed my eyes for a moment and focused on the silence as someone tapped on my shoulder.

"Seb?" I was confused.

"Look over in the box!" he said and I turned my head.

Lizzie. Smiling and waving at me. Here in Monza to support me. I smiled and closed the visor.

The whole race I thought about her, how I wanted nothing more than to make her proud so when I jumped out the car after finishing on the podium, I walked over to my team as I saw her standing a bit away from them. I ran up to her, picked her up, hugged her tight to me and twirled her around. She was here because of me. Interrupting her recovery for me. Why was she so perfect.l?

Lizzie and I talked the entire ride back into the alps, JK in the car in front of us stopped in front of a cozy looking house. And I parked next to his car. Lizzie, almost half asleep, got out of the car, stretching a little. She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her.

"Come on, we’re just in time to see the sunrise!" she said and we sat down on the porch. Her head on my shoulder. After a while I heard her breathing even out and realised she fell asleep. I gently picked her up and JK showed me the way to her room where I laid her down, took her shoes and jacket off and tucked her in. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and left her room.

"How is she doing?" I asked JK as I sat down on the sofa and he closed his book.

"She’s doing good, she’s headstrong, that’s good, she really powers through the recovery… at least the physical one." he said and sat up "There is a lot of trauma hidden behind her smile, a lot of anxiety, fear. I need to figure out how I can get that out of her."

"She’s not opening up? I thought you guys were really close?" I asked him and he chuckled.

"We are close, I have to admit, with none of my other patients before I bonded this fast. And she confides in me with a lot of things… but there are things she’s keeping to herself, issues we need to tackle otherwise we won’t progress." he answered.

"How can I help? You want me to try and talk to her?" I offered and JK sighed.

"There is something you can do, please listen to me, you won’t like what I’m about to say, but bear with me, okay? You and Lizzie share more than just a normal bond, it’s more than friendship. Your emotions are almost tied to one another as it seems. In the week after your race in Portimaõ? She was demotivated, in a foul mood, always thinking about you, how you sounded in this message, or on this call… she’s focusing too much on you instead of herself. And that is at her given state suboptimal. And it’s also not really healthy for you, thinking constantly about her recovery instead of focusing on your races!" he explained and I waited for him to continue "What I’m saying is, you both need to focus on yourself. And I think in order to do that, we should restrict your contact, don’t give me that look, please wait, tell her the things she needs to know. I’m back in Maranello, back home, I’m in Turkey now. That’s it. Whatever she’s texting you, don’t reply. No matter how many times she’s calling you. Don’t answer your phone. I know it sounds hard, believe me it will be hard for her when the one person she always confides in, the one person who is the most important one, cuts her out like that. And that’s what I need. l need her to break. As soon as she lets all the negativity and thoughts that consume her right now go, I will be able to help her mentally as well. But she has to open up. And she’s not doing it on her own, so I have to push her. And this is the fastest way."

"You want me to ghost her? To cut her out completely? She will not just break, JK! She will be devastated! She will hate me! I can’t do that to her! I can’t hurt her like that!" I was shocked by what he asked me to do.

"She won’t hate you! As soon as she’s accepting that we need to do more for her mental health and we’re making progress in this direction, I will tell her the truth! She will be mad, definitely, but she loves you, Charles. She could never hate you! Think about it!" JK got up and left me alone with my thoughts.

Was he right? Was this the way to help her? By breaking her heart? By ghosting her? It will kill me to not be able to talk to her, but this isn’t about me, it’s about Lizzie. And if JK thinks this is the way to help her, then I would do it. I would do everything for her, just how she would do everything for me.

After we took a long walk, we picked up some groceries from a little store in the village and some kids recognised us, it was sweet that they also knew Lizzie and showed her nothing but love, after the comments in the media over the last months this must’ve been a good feeling for her and I was more than happy to take pictures with her and the kids.

"They loved you, ma belle!" I smiled at her as we walked back to the house and saw how her cheeks were turning slightly pink.

"I think they were more interested in you, but they were sweet anyways!" she said and I pulled her into my side.

"They asked you first if you are who they think you are! So I’d say they were quite happy meeting you!" I said and Lizzie just laughed a little.

"Whatever!" she mumbled and the rest of the way we were walking in silence.

JK left me and Lizzie in charge of the toppings and took care of the fire and the dough and after some time geh air was filled with the smell of fire, dough and fresh tomatoes. I didn’t know if it was the pizza itself, the fresh mountain air or Lizzie’s presence, but the pizza tasted better than any pizza I had before. According to Lizzie she felt the same, although she wasn’t showing her appreciation by eating the pizza. I’ve seen in the last weeks that she was eating not much, or sometimes even nothing, but she always said it’s because of the medication she was taking. As JK left, he signaled her to eat more and she just sighed, grabbing another slice although not eating it. Her answer to my question was almost the same as always before, not really hungry, the medications, always full because of JKs superfoods. I knew she was only trying to change the topic when she joked about pineapple on her pizza, but I jumped right in there, asking her if there was something wrong with her brain. The second the words had left my mouth, I regretted them, I apologised, but she wouldn’t let me, saying it was okay, which it wasn’t. How could I say something like this? How stupid was I? After that video? I must’ve hurt her but she hid it, like she always did.

But this time it was different. Usually she would make a bad joke and laugh it off. This time she shushed me with a finger on my lips, looking me deep in the eyes.

"Shhh… stop, please! Stop apologising. It’s fine. I’m fine. Okay?" I nodded slowly, mesmerised by her natural beauty, her eyes sparkling, left index finger still on my lips, right hand on my cheek. So close I could see the grey swirls in her stormy blue eyes. I put one hand on her hip, the other covering hers on my cheek. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. Every fibre in my body aching for her, screaming at me to finally kiss her, to finally make her mine. I opened my eyes and leaned in closer.

"Good night guys." JK’s voice made us both flinch and pull away from each other. I cleared my throat, feeling the heat rising up my chest into my cheeks, I ruffled my hair looking at her.

"It’s getting late? I think I’ll take a long shower and then go to bed!" she said and yawned.

"Yeah, you go showering, I’ll take care of the dishes!" I nodded and grabbed our plates and glasses and then walked away, at the door I turned around "I’ll put your pizza in the fridge!" I watched her get up and walk inside. My heart was racing. I almost kissed her. And it felt right. Every second of it felt right. My body was craving her. My mind was craving her. It felt so fucking right. But it wasn’t. I wasn’t right. She wouldn’t be so shocked and awkward if it felt right for her as well. I sighed and washed the dishes. I put some cling film over Lizzie’s pizza and put it in the fridge. I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Something like this couldn’t happen again. I stood there for another minute as my phone vibrated. Camille. She was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. What I was doing to her wasn’t fair. I should at least try and give her all my love and dedication, like she did to me. But I just couldn’t. It wasn’t her face I wanted to see, waking up in the morning. It wasn’t her I was thinking of before I fell asleep at night. And it certainly wasn’t her I wanted to kiss after a good race. But she was happy. Hurting her just because I am an idiot? That didn’t feel right. But the plan I had, falling in love with her over the course of the last months, forgetting the feelings for Lizzie, didn’t work. Not even in the slightest, a couple of minutes ago clearly showed that. But what else could I do? At least having Camille as girlfriend stopped all of social media to paint me and Lizzie as the perfect couple. Lovers. The questions about us stopped almost completely. That was good. Lizzie thought I was in love with Camille, so she wouldn’t get suspicious, that was good as well. And Camille was happy. She loved the attention she was getting, loved that some brands reached out to her, gifting her designer clothes, jewelry, hand bags. Getting a big Instagram following. At least she got something positive, if I couldn’t love her the way she deserved it. Maybe JK was right. I had to detach myself from Lizzie for some time, not just for her sake, also for mine. My phone vibrated again, this time it was a message from Seb, checking in on how we were doing. I replied to him that we’re alright and walked back into my room. I hoped that tomorrow, Lizzie and I wouldn’t think about what almost happened between us.

"That lake was freezing!" I said as we walked back up to the house and Lizzie next to me only chuckled. What happened last night thankfully didn’t make things awkward.

"You get used to it after some time!" she said and as she took her next step she slipped slightly but before I could react JK held her to his side and she smiled at him "Thanks." she laughed as JK only smiled back and held her close to his side the whole way back.

"Hot shower and then some tea and lunch, I have a new flavour." JK said and Lizzie looked up at him.

"Please no more ginger!" she almost pleaded and JK only laughed.

"Oh come on! It’s healthy!" he laughed and Lizzie just groaned as we stepped on the porch and JK took our wet towels and hung them over the banister and Lizzie and I took off our shoes.

"Oh wait, here you go, princess." JK pulled down her zipper as he walked past her as if it’s the most normal thing to do, it almost seemed natural how he did it. And did he call her princess? I’ve seen that they’ve become really close, but what was going on here? It’s highly unprofessional to flirt with your patient or your therapist. Was it just flirting?

"Charles? You good there bruh?" JK asked and I realised that Lizzie was gone as I looked around "She’s under the shower. Come on, let's get ready for lunch." and with that he walked inside.

Was there something going on between them? And for how long now? I walked in and went to my room as I noticed the door to Lizzie’s room was open, just a crack. I walked past it as I heard JKs voice and I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t help but to spare a glance inside, just to see Lizzie, only with a towel covering her front, standing in front of JK, back turned to him and he was gently stroking her back. I swallowed hard and quietly left. Back in my room I went straight into the shower, getting rid of the wetsuit and standing under the hot water stream. It only made sense that they would start to feel more than just a normal patient/therapist bond. They lived together in this truly romantic place with no TV, bad wifi and almost no service. They only had each other. I wanted Lizzie to be happy, that it was with her therapist, well I guess at least he’s a decent guy. I turned off the water and got out. Dressing up and then checking my phone, 7 missed calls from Camille. I sighed. Lizzie is happy. JK‘s a great guy. I had a girlfriend. It all was good. One last moment to relinquish in the silence and then I called Camille. Feeling absolutely nothing but jealousy.

Leaving her didn’t feel right. Leaving her knowing I wouldn’t be able to call and text her felt worse. The whole drive back to Maranello I thought about Lizzie and JK, I even asked myself if he only wanted me to stop contacting her because he felt threatened by me? Ridiculous. No. I had to trust him on this one. He will focus on Lizzie. I will focus on myself. That was all I could do for now.

Reading all her messages was truly heartbreaking and I hated myself whenever I just swiped them away. Ignoring her calls when I knew that she was probably almost in tears because I didn’t pick up after her sadder getting messages. But I promised JK I wouldn’t contact her, only giving her a head up whenever I traveled somewhere. I was fully focused on my races now. Ignoring Camille mostly, trying to get as much distance between us as possible. I had to figure out how I could break up with her, without breaking her heart. I dreaded it. I tried to keep myself busy, stayed in Maranello and tried to talk to her as little as possible. I was shocked when she stood in front of me in Turkey after the race, hugging me, taking my hand in hers and walking with me back into the Ferrari hospitality.

"I missed you, so I thought, I’d surprise you!" she almost yelled and I forced myself to smile at her.

The next week I spent in Maranello, before I returned home for the weekend to prepare for the last stint of the season. Camille would be gone for the next 3 weeks, a girls trip with her best friends to Mexico and I was more than happy about it. At least like this I didn’t have to feel guilty all the time for not breaking up with her already.

I was just boarding my plane to Bahrain, as my phone buzzed. Lizzie. I wanted to swipe the message away, as I saw the first words of the message: JK told me. I’m not mad… I swallowed and opened the message as soon as I sat down. JK told her everything. She wasn’t mad, she understood, but she was still hurt, especially that it seemed to be so easy for me to cut her out like this. I immediately sent her an answer that it wasn’t easy at all, that it broke my heart reading her desperate messages and not being able to respond. I told her how sorry I was but I just wanted to help her and JK said this was the right way. Before I could wait for an answer I had to switch off my phone. As soon as I landed and switched it on I checked my messages. Nothing. Now she was the one ghosting me.

"What do you mean, you’re not coming home after the last race?" Camille sounded annoyed.

"I’ll have to stay for some tests for the new season, also some tyre tests…" I began but Camille just scoffed.

"Okay, that doesn’t explain why you’re not here until one day before New Year’s Eve?" her voice sounded harsh.

"Camille, I’ll stay here until the 17th, then I fly to Maranello for some simulator work and then I’m celebrating Christmas with my family…" and she interrupted me again.

"And why can’t I celebrate with your family as well? I’m your girlfriend? Why can’t I come wherever you’re celebrating?" she almost shouted.

"Because I can’t invite you to someone else’s home! It’s just a small gathering. We’re not renting out a huge house somewhere! We’re staying at someone’s home." I tried to explain.

"Someone’s home? You’re kidding me, right? You’re fucking kidding me! You go to Lizzie! You’re celebrating our first Christmas together with Lizzie instead of me!" now she was really furious "I can’t believe you! I’m your girlfriend! If you don’t want to stay here and celebrate at home, you should at least invite me! But no! Not when you’re going to Saint Lizzie! I was by your side and supported you last year! Not her! But fine! Celebrate with your holy Lizzie!" and then she hung up. Problem solved. For now.

The last race was done, P13, the tests were done. Tyre tests as well. I made my way to Maranello for some final simulator tests before I would head to Ludwigsburg on Sunday. I was coming back from a break as I heard two Ferrari employees speak about Lizzie being removed from the FDA. I was confused, I knocked on Mattia’s office but he wasn’t inside. One of his assistants told me he was in one of the conference rooms with some Ferrari officials. I thanked her and walked to the conference rooms and glanced through the glass door. Mattia, Massimo Rivola and some officials whose names I didn’t know sat there, discussing something. I knocked and Mattia looked up. He nodded and I stepped in.

"Charles, how can I help you?" he asked and I looked between him and Massimo.

"Is it true?" I asked and Mattia and Massimo exchanged some very guilty looks "You’re kicking Lizzie out of the FDA?"

"Charles, listen, it’s not that easy…" began Massimo but I interrupted him.

"What did she do wrong?" I asked.

"She didn’t do anything wrong, Charles. It’s just that we have only a limited number of spots within the FDA and it’s unfair for the other talented drivers if a spot is taken up by someone who isn’t driving anymore!" Massimo explained.

"But when she comes back and starts driving again? Who will support her then?"

"You mean if she’s driving again?"

"No, when! She’s working so hard on it! She will return and then she will need support and help to get back in! No one will let her drive for them if you drop her!" I had to refrain myself from yelling.

"Charles, we know this means a lot to you. But at the moment, this can’t be our concern anymore." Massimo sighed.

"Can’t be your concern anymore? She almost died! She didn’t do anything wrong! She won 2 championships under your wing! She always highlighted how great you are and how loved and supported she felt! But you just… you just drop her like she’s worth nothing!" I was furious but also desperate, they couldn’t do this to Lizzie.

"We’re sorry, Charles. But the decision is made. The statement will be released in the next hour." Massimo said, his words final.

"Who told her about it?" I asked after a moment.

No answer, only more guilty looks.

"You didn’t even tell her? There will be a statement out and she knows nothing? What the fuck?!" this time I shouted at him and Mattia got up.

"Charles, you're upset, I understand you. We all love Lizzie! But this is business. We have to do what’s best for Ferrari. Please understand. Go now, go home and have a nice winter break. No, Charles. This decision is final." Mattia tried to calm me down.

"Don’t release the statement. Not yet. I’ll see her tomorrow. Let me tell her before she has to find it out through a statement." I pleaded.

"We have an email ready that we wanted to send out before the statement will be released…" Massimo said and I nodded.

"Send it tomorrow in the afternoon, I’ll talk to her before then…" I said and Massimo and Mattia nodded "Merry Christmas." I left the room and walked straight out of the factory. I took a deep breath and got in the car. I decided to leave immediately. The faster I’m leaving, the faster I‘ll be there.

Ludwigsburg. The first time after we left for Monaco she would be home again. The first time in months I would see her family again. And the first time I would see Lizzie again, after our almost kiss. I was nervous. How do you tell your best friend, that you just ghosted for weeks, that she got kicked out of the FDA, because they couldn’t keep her in, occupying a spot without driving for them.

Merry fucking Christmas.

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 10 is out - writing a whole chapter out of Charles POV was really fun!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram.

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yanderepuck · 6 months ago

Text

Salai-Chapter 8

WELCOME TO SALAI'S ROUTE. This is a FAN MADE route of my oc, Salai. This means this route contains my headcanons for the characters and in no way is suppose to represent the canon story. This is just a fun little time because I know many of you enjoy Salai. Feel free to engage, talk theories, send asks (even to @ask-salai ).

DISCLAIMER: His route his not canon to his character. Also, all of his lore in not in the route for simplicity reasons plus please feel free to ask about him.

Banner by @spooscribbles

You finally get to the mansion after hailing down a carriage and you hurry inside.

Sebastian: Mitsuki!

You look over and see him and Napoleon rushing over to you. Napoleon takes you in his arms and holds you.

Napoleon: Where were you?!

They sound so worried about you.

Sebastian: What happened? Are you hurt at all? Why didn’t you come home?

They start bombarding you with questions and then Sebastian sees the bandage on your arm.

Sebastian: You are hurt!

You haven’t even gotten a chance to say anything.

Napoleon: What?

He lets you go and looks at your arm. He then picks you up.

Napoleon: Let’s get you cleaned up.

Mitsuki: H-Hey! I can walk! Plus I’m fine. It’s just a little scratch and Andrea took care of me.

Napoleon: Andrea?

Sebastian: You mean that guy you went to lunch with the other day? The one you just met and I told you to be careful around.

He would flick your head if you weren’t already hurt

Mitsuki: It’s not like that! We spent the day together yesterday and I was going to leave-

Napoleon: You spent the day with some stranger?

Mitsuki: I've lived with you guys for a month and we’re all strangers

You pout. Is it really any better? Maybe you could argue that it’s different, but not by much.

Mitsuki: But I’m fine! He took care of the cut and I stayed in his apartment for the night since it was too dangerous to go out at night. He took care of me.

Napoleon: But did you-

Mitsuki: I slept in his bed and he slept on the couch

You already had a feeling that you were going to be asked that.

Sebastian: Well we should still clean up your arm

Napoleon is still walking with you in his arms, taking you to your room. You pout the whole way, not wanting to be carried. You just want to bathe and change your clothes.

Mitsuki: Can I at least bathe first? I’ve been in the same clothes since yesterday.

Napoleon and Sebastian both hesitate to answer.

Sebastian: Fine. But when you are done go to Arthur to look at your arm, okay?

Napoleon sets you down finally in front of your door.

Napoleon: I’ll let everyone know that you’re back

You spend a long time in the thermae, wanting to relax and think back on last night. Why did you feel like that when he fell on you? Did he feel the same? He didn’t get up right away after all. So many thoughts are running through your head. You feel your face get flushed but just blame it on the heat of the water. You finally get up and pat your body dry, putting on fresh clothes and wrapping your hair up in the towel. You go back to your room and then you look at the cut on your arm.

It stings, but it isn’t deep and should be healed in a few days. There was a lot of blood in the moment but it seemed to have closed up already. You continue to dry your hair. You might as well see Arthur to get it bandaged, you didn’t have anything to do it yourself.

You sigh and leave your room. You go directly to the parlor, expecting Arthur to be in there, possibly playing chess with someone. And you were right. Arthur was sitting there with Theo, and you knew Theo was losing with the look he had on his face.

Mitsuki: Arthur?

He had his back to you. Hearing his name he looked over his shoulder and smiled.

Arthur: Mitsuki! Glad to see you are safe.

He gets up from the board and comes over to you. He immediately takes your arm and rolls up your sleeve. In any other instance you would yell at him, but surely Sebastian told him why you were here.

Arthur: Go sit down while I get my things.

He leaves the room and you sit in the chair Arthur was originally sitting in. Theo watches you and looks at the cut on your arm.

Theo: Are you okay? What happened, hondje?

Mitsuki: It stings, but I’m okay. I was on my way back and some man attacked me, but…a friend saved me.

You weren’t sure how to word it without going into too much detail, and you didn’t want to go into detail. You are fine now and that is what matters.

Theo: I’m glad you are safe. Maybe next time you need to go out one of us should go with you.

Mitsuki: Well… I do need to go out tomorrow… and I was hoping you would come with me. Remember that painter I was telling you about, Andrea? He’s open to the idea of having his paintings at the gallery and if you weren’t doing anything he’s happy to have us over tomorrow for you to look at them.

Theo was a little caught off guard. Not the question he was expecting after the panic everyone was in over the night.

Theo: Sure. If you think his paintings are good then I guess they are worth giving a look at.

Arthur comes back with a few things and kneels on the floor next to you

Arthur: Are you two making date plans without me?

Mitsuki: It’s about the gallery

You let Arthur take your arm and let him do his thing.

Arthur: Right, that is coming up. So what is it about this guy that swept you off your feet that I couldn’t do, luv

So Napoleon even told them that the friend is a guy, and that’s where you were

Mitsuki: It’s not like that! He saved me and then let me stay at his apartment until this morning.

Theo: The painter?

Mitsuki: Yes, and nothing happened. We were hanging out, I went to his place to look at his paintings, and when I went to leave it was already late and I got hurt. I don’t see why it is a big deal.

Arthur and Theo both look at each other, both having the same thought.

Theo: Hondje… how does that not sound like an issue to you?

Arthur: You barely know the man, and you went to his apartment

Theo: Sure that isn’t a normal thing even in your time

You pout. You weren’t going to get through to them. You can trust him and you know that. He’s not dangerous and he helped you.

Mitsuki: It’s not like that was my first time spending time with him. We went to lunch too and-

Arthur: So you got yourself a boyfriend~

He teased and Theo sighed. There is no point in trying to explain to them.

Mitsuki: It’s not like that!

You felt your cheeks getting red, feeling embarrassed. You stand up once Arthur is done bandaging your arm.

Mitsuki: He’s here looking for someone. He’s not interested in me.

You quickly left the room storming down the hall. You go to your room and lay down in bed. Did you say that to get them to be quiet, or is it because you wanted to convince yourself?

~~~

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midwinterrmemento · 2 years ago

Text

How the Ikemen Vampire Cast Responds to “Would You Still Love Me if I was a Worm?”

Jean absolutely takes you seriously, even though he’s visibly confused. Because of the serious look on your face, he might think for a moment that this is actually a possibility he needs to be worried about. You watch as a familiar dark veil falls over his eyes—the look of a man prepared for battle. His most immediate concern is how defenseless you would be, and you better believe he’s willing to fight and die by the sword to protect that worm. If it’s for you, all bets are off. When you remind him that it’s just a question, that you’re just curious, he blinks and snaps out of it. Then, once his distress clears, you might catch a flicker of an amused smile on his face, which disappears as soon as it arrives. “I see. That’s… an odd thing to ask.” He doesn’t feel the need to answer any further than that, but his instinctual reaction speaks for itself; he would watch out for you no matter what form you take.

Isaac is also confused. “Gods, what kind of question is that?” When you don’t answer, staring at him with a completely serious look on your face, it doesn’t take long for his confusion to morph into anxiety. He wants to give you the right answer, but he can’t tell if this is actually important to you or if Arthur and Dazai put you up to it. His brows furrow as he runs through the possibilities in his brain. “Erm… that is…” What if you really are testing him, though? Is he already failing by stammering like this? He wouldn’t want you to think that he could ever stop loving you, even in such a ridiculous scenario. “I-I mean to say… Biologically, that would be… implausible, so not to worry, but…” His face is burning before he even finishes the thought, as he realizes he’s about to say something vulnerable and also totally nonsensical, but he pushes through, for your sake. “I-I would just be glad you’re still with me, that’s all…”

Dazai is not fazed at all, and he plays along without questioning what you’re getting at. “Oh, isn’t that a coincidence? I was just thinking of a story like that. A foolish prince neglects to tell his beloved how much he cares about her, so fate punishes him by taking her away and returning her to him as a worm—hm, why are you looking at me like that, Toshiko-san?” He avoids giving you a direct answer, but he humors you with his dramatics. Deep down, he feels that he wouldn’t be deserving of you even in worm form, since he certainly doesn’t deserve you as a human. But because you’ve chosen to stay with him for whatever reason, he’ll treasure you forever; he won’t let himself become anything like the prince in the story. If you can read between the lines of his bizarre, impromptu story, that will tell you everything you need to know. “Say, it would be fun to ask Ai-kun this question, don’t you think?”

Arthur will never pass up an opportunity to seduce flatter you. “I don’t see why not. Although, I must say…” A mischievous grin on his face, he slowly walks up behind you and wraps his arms securely around your waist. “I very much prefer your human form. I get to kiss you that way.” As if to emphasize his point, he bends down to leave a trail of teasing kisses down your neck, purposefully just light enough to tickle you. Once he gets a reaction out of you, you’ll feel him smile against your shoulder, pleased that he was able to make you squirm. “Ah... it would be too cruel if I never got to be with you like this again. What do you say I show you just how much I would miss your beautiful body, hm?” Ahem. As I was saying.

Napoleon stares at you for a second, and then you see his shoulders start to shake with suppressed laughter. When you scold him and tell him to answer the question seriously, he can’t help that his laughter spills over and as usual, once he starts, he can’t stop. “Pfft, a worm? If... if you were... hahaha!” He does his best to contain himself, but it takes a moment for his laughing fit to pass. When it does, he’s quick to reassure you. “Ha… Only you would ask me something like that, nunuche.” As you begin to protest, he quells all your fears with a fond smile, wrapping an arm around your shoulders affectionately. “You don’t even need to worry about it. Nothing like that will happen on my watch.”

Sebastian flicks your forehead. “Get back to work.” You stare at him in disbelief as he simply turns around and continues washing the dishes, unsure whether you’re more stung by the red mark on your forehead or the way he totally dismissed your question. Feeling your eyes on him, he sighs. “I’m only going to say this once.” Without even looking back at you, he calmly sets aside the dish he was drying, as though he wasn’t about to utter the words that would forever alter your relationship, the grandest declaration of love he could possibly give you. “It’s impractical for a human and a worm to be together. But as it is, I would choose you over Napoleon.”

Leonardo wonders if he heard you correctly, rubbing his bleary eyes because you woke him up for this and for what. There’s a brief moment of silence as you stare at him expectantly, his foggy brain trying to process what you just asked him. “Well, we’d need to keep Lumière away from you,” is all he says at first. When you tell him that that wasn’t the question, that you want to know if he would still love you, he lets out a sleepy chuckle and sits up properly so he can look you in the eyes. “I don’t know what put this idea in your head, cara mia, but I think we’ve come far enough to say that I wouldn’t give you up so easily. If you turned into a worm somehow, I’d look after you until I could find a way to turn you back into a human.” Actually, if he’s being totally honest, he might step on you or lose you somewhere in his room, so he hopes this is never put to the test.

Le Comte hums thoughtfully, his expression so calm that you almost wonder if he was expecting the question. You might not get the satisfaction of seeing him surprised, but you won’t even have time to be disappointed before he’s looking up at you with a gentle smile, so distractingly charming that it drives every other thought out of your head. “Well, it would certainly be harder to spoil you that way.” Behind that smile, he honestly might experience a brief moment of pureblood angst, considering how short a worm’s lifespan is compared even to a human’s, but he quickly reminds himself that it’s crazy to even imagine it. You’re here with him right now, alive and well and fully human—and deserving of some new jewelry, he’s decided.

Mozart looks up from his piano in disbelief, his hands stopping abruptly on the keys. Don’t take it the wrong way if he actually looks a little disgusted by the idea. It has nothing to do with how much he cares about you, it’s just that you’ve asked your germaphobic partner to think of you as a creature that lives in the dirt. He has trouble imagining that, anyway, considering how highly he thinks of you, even if he doesn’t always tell you that directly. “Well, you’re not a worm.” If you continue to insist but what if... well, he’s not actually going to admit that he would still love you lmao, but he’ll make up for it by reminding you how much he does love you, exactly as you are. "Stay here for a moment and listen to this piece.”

Vincent doesn’t seem to think there’s anything odd about that question once he considers it, and he answers sincerely and without missing a beat. “If you were a worm? Well, I’d miss being able to talk to you—your voice is so lovely, you know?—but I could still keep you company, at least. If you’d like, there should be enough room on my easel for you to sit there while I paint. Hm? What’s wrong? Was that not a good answer?” Please tell him that was the best answer. He’s worried that he might not have convinced you, so don’t be surprised if you see a little worm somewhere in his next painting; it’s the best way he can think to show you that you’d still be his favorite art subject even then.

Theo raises an eyebrow at you. “I still love you even though you’re a hondje, isn’t that good enough?” When you pout back at him, he sighs, reaching out to ruffle your hair. “If you need me to say it, then fine. But you should know by now that I love you no matter what.” Part of him is relieved when you seem content with his answer. He’s glad to know that that ridiculous sentiment was enough to reassure you of his affections, because he really does mean it. Another part of him, though—well, if you hear him muttering to himself “gelukkig ben je geen worm” as you’re walking away, just pretend you didn’t.

Shakespeare’s first instinct is to picture what this would be like as a play, and he isn’t exactly blown away by the idea. “’Tis a… style of tragedy yet unexplored.” He’ll only snap out of it when he sees you frowning at him and realizes that he hasn’t actually responded, then he quickly hides his bewilderment behind a smirk, advancing across the room towards you. “You have chosen a curious way to test my love. If you want my attention, you need only ask.” Perhaps he’s been neglecting you lately, too busy working on his latest play... but he would hate to make you feel uncertain about his feelings for you. Expect him to spend the rest of the evening waxing poetic to you, reassuring you as best as he knows how. Although you’ll notice, if you can avoid getting swept away by his lovely words, that he technically still didn’t answer the question.

Charles, like Vincent, won’t let something so small deter him from loving you. You’d still be you, after all, and you’re someone he never wants to lose, whether you’re a human or a worm. “Of course I would!” he smiles brightly, taking your hand. “I’m sure Lord Vlad’s garden would be a nice place for a worm to live, he takes such good care of it. I’ll make sure you have the best soil and everything, and I’ll come talk to you all the time, so don’t worry! Um... I’ll have to find out what else I should do to take care of a worm, but I’ll learn in no time.” Needless to say, Charles passes the test with flying colors. Just make sure he remembers this is a hypothetical situation before he actually starts making plans, and try to ignore the feeling of Faust’s judgmental stare boring into your back.

Faust, honestly, might make you regret that you asked. If you muster up the courage to come to him with this question, he might dismiss it right away, saying it’s a waste of time—or he might decide to toy with you a little bit. Depends what kind of mood he’s in that day. “Hmm. That’s hard to say.” Your blood chills as the corners of his mouth curve up into a smirk. “If you want a definite answer to your silly little question… I’m sure I could concoct something special to test it out.” Yeah… you might want to go back to the mansion before Faust actually tries to turn you into a worm.

Vlad has been around a long time, but this is the first time he’s heard this question, so kudos for catching him off guard. He stops tending his garden for a moment to look up at you with curious crimson eyes. “May I ask where this is coming from?” When you tell him it’s nothing, that you just want to know how he would feel, he blinks at you before huffing a gentle laugh. Honestly, this whole thing will be worth it just to see that warm glimmer in his eyes. “You never cease to surprise me, draga mea. Yes, of course I would still love you.” Satisfied, you turn away with a smile, missing the way his expression darkens. You might’ve accidentally unlocked a new fear for him, honestly. He may have to think of a solution to this problem, just in case. This man has literally waited centuries for you, so he’s certainly not going to let you go now. After all, if he can prevent the end of the world, he can prevent you from turning into a worm... right?

#this has been sitting in my drafts for months because of how cursed it is #but I think it's time to finally unleash it on the world #do with it what you will #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp x reader

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mercyillustrator · 6 months ago

Note

Why do some of your oc's have male disguises? (Not trying to be mean, sorry if my question already has been answered😅)

When I had a backstory of my AU Nonsurat which I added she/her (not cannon) I wasn’t sure how I would put into a story on that til my mind where she was join into Fighting Group when I heard about girls disguises as male I wasn’t quite sure and wasn’t interested til my mind anyways according to my OC Nebula backstory when she was done rehearsing her show at the old theater during the play and her being a dancer til she heard the alert of NME coming and where he takes female puffballs because he saw them as weak that girls can’t do anything like male puffballs that wanted to be treated fairly not special treatment.

Nebula parents I would say they were firm, worried about their kids being in danger, supportive and loving but unfortunately nebula didn’t find her parents and I’m not saying they’re dead but absent ever since the chaos happen. :0

even though GSA let female puffballs and any species to be in GSA but there are some criticism some parents that won’t support female puffballs. Some of them their old roots like my AU Nonsurat as they have the old roots of "boys are strong and girls are weak" that kind of thing :0

For Nebula when she felt being defeated by NME and monster attack her she thought she was worthless and not good enough to be strong warrior but then she has to disguise herself as a male to save everyone and honor her little sister Starla who died from NME plus had to give up her dreams.

When she works on the disguise none of the monsters and NME can tell they are secretly female in disguise if they were exposed to be female then NME would capture and corrupt them like how Knuckle Joe Father aka Jecra were. But the fighting group can show their hair if they want but being careful with disguise coming off.

And so Nebula would have filers to join fighting group and no she is not against GSA nor Arthur. Let’s say that couple of female puffballs are in GSA and no one can tell by it gender and their voice changer being male whether it’s deep, low, husky, high pitch boy, and masculine appearance. Nebula would support anyone and no matter what age if they were kids, teenagers, young adult, adults, and elder .

Fighting group has to be better safe then sorry to save themselves from NME. Nebula is the leader of the group and has the right handed warrior whose name Sir Solar aka Solaria who helps her as a general of course they treated each other like family. They use their initials as Sir or they changed their name but not pressure by Nebula though she respect their boundaries and ways.

In the future of my comic it will be shown how they got corrupt and how it started without any bad but keep it as friendly and how would the stories goes.

(It’s ok no worries you’re all good and that’s a good question to ask. When I was little I learn it from OG Powerpuff girls, books, KND, and Mulan mostly Mulan where she talks about reflection and how female warrior wanted to be strong like men’s) if you have anymore I’m free to ask :) and correct me if I make sense with words also Thank you Anon ^^

- 💠🎨Mercy🎨💠

#mercy post #mercy rambles #anon ask #kirby #kirby fandom #not art related #mercy talks #mercy speaks #mercy au #kirby au #lady nebula #fighting group #oc talk #inspired by Mulan #rambles #kirby oc tournament #po #propaganda

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 10 months ago

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Double the Popcorn - a Malevolent fic (Intermezzo spoilers)

You think there’s anyone I haven’t seen? Fucked around with? Followed? You think there isn’t a version of you I haven’t tweaked to be the very d-d-darkest you could be, with flesh in your fingernails and blood in your cheeks like a really fucked-up squirrel?

I. Have tried. Them all. And pal… they don’t fucking work.

AO3

-------------------------

Look, I tried them all, okay?

You think there’s a Larson I haven’t used, to see if all that ambition could overcome his natural predilection toward excreting mucus? You think there’s a Butcher I haven’t used, bulldozing his way through everything like a gods-damned rhino and singing like an entire chorus while he did?

I. Have tried. Them all. And pal… they don’t fucking work.

I suppose the disappointment is my own fault. Could’ve stayed in my lane, lived one life, stuck with time as-is and boring, but-but-but why? What would be the point? And of course, after I started leaping from string to string to string to fucking hammer, you had to know that wouldn’t last.

Did nipping through time make me a little crazy? Crazier? Probably! Who fucking cares?

I tried them all. That’s what I’m saying. And the only one who has ever consistently gotten me close to my fucking goal is the combination of John the Yellow King and his Court Jester, Arthur.

Which I say tongue-in-cheek, because we all know who’s topping in that relationship, and it ain’t the god.

Look. Look. I’ll do you a solid, since you asked. You get to leave! But first you have to understand why. Why you can’t trade places with him. Why you can’t help him out with all your widdle might.

Because I already tried you, you chowder-eating cunt, and you never get close. Never. Not even insane! Not even blind! Not even inhabited!

Just him. It’s just him, and fuck if I know why. Hyperbole aside, that really is driving me crazy.

Crazier. Craziest!

I should know everything. I should because I’ve played this game too many times! Found all the Easter eggs. Unlocked all the puzzles. Blown all the doors right through the far wall to crush the children’s beds and ooze around their splintered edges like strawberry jam. I even know how to skip unskippable cutscenes!

So why Arthur? And why, for fucking hell, does it have to be Arthur with John?

Arthur alone doesn’t work. John alone doesn’t work. Arthur with any other god-piece doesn’t work. John in any other human doesn’t work. Why? Why these two? They’re fuck-ups!

They’re amazing fuck-ups, don’t get me wrong. They have personally doubled my popcorn budget, but that’s not what I’m saying.

It’s them. Just them. So no, twinkle-toes, you cannot take his place. You cannot help. You are in the way. So! I’m going to send you back because I’m nice (ha, no, it’s just because I’m in a good mood, I love a good zombie flick), and you are going to stay there this time. They think you’re in Spain. You’re staying in Spain. Come back again, and I’ll kill you.

Mmkay? We clear? Too-bad-have-a-nice-life-bye.

Fucking Lester. Always Lestering people. Who the fuck is showing up next in his corner, I’d like to know. Eh, who am I kidding, I already do.

It’s just Arthur’s next choice I don’t know.

Time to get some snacks.

#malevolent #malevolent fic #kayne malevolent #intermezzo spoilers #malevolent kayne

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jokeringcutio · 2 years ago

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Drabble: Arthur Harrow visits his mother

Prompt: How would Harrow be with his mom? Arthur Harrow x Reader

Rating: Teen/General Mentioning of: Cult, family life, kids, pregnancy, overbearing mom, age difference, age gap. Imagine if Harrow’s mother would still be alive. How would their relationship be?

00—oo — 00

“Is she part of your cult?” the old woman’s voice croaked while she tried to sit a little straighter in her chair. Her hunched form an indication of her age. There was a buzzing all around her from other elderly people, each seated at different tables with their own visitors. The nursery home had an excellent cuisine and the cafeteria staff was busy keeping everyone fed.

“It’s not a cult mom,” Arthur said calmly, like he had not taken it as an insult. He had, his mom could tell, but she thought it was admirable how collected he managed to remain nowadays. He’d been different in the past, she remembered. “But no,” there was only a short pause but it was enough to betray he felt discomfort talking about this subject. His mother could hazard a guess as to why. She watched him as he sat in front of her, steaming cup of coffee nearly untouched. His left hand rested on top of his right, over the heads of the crocodiles adorning his cane. “She is not.”

“An outsider?” She sounded surprised and watched her son flinch. Despite their ages, some things would never change. He would always be her son, whether he be one or fifty years of age. And she would always worry about him, even if he was taking care of his own for years now.

“Just a girl,” he did not want to talk, because he did not want to give too much away. Like always, he rather hid the truth, only showing what glimpses of it that he could share to sway someone’s mind or opinion.

“A girl?” his mother sounded worried and placed her hand on top of his, leaning over to have proper eye contact with him. She was searching his eyes for something, and he knew it. She could read him like an open book. He pretty much had inherited that skill from her, after all.

“Woman, then,” Arthur said, seeing his mother’s expression. He knew she only grasped a little of what he was doing, not that he had informed her of all. He wanted her to remain ignorant. Not to be tainted in case anything went wrong and his enemies caught sight of her. She was to remain safe. Happy.

That’s why he had her in the most luxurious nursery home he could find. Here, she’d be cared for. Here, she’d be away from harmful hands.

He realized that she still held certain opinions about his community and the role he played there. “She’s an adult, mom,” he reassured her. “It’s just, she’s much younger than me.”

“How much younger,” his mother mistrustingly asked. She narrowed her eyes at him, her frail old hand curling slightly tighter around his. She might be in her early eighties and not as fit as some of her friends still were, but she still had some strength in her.

Arthur didn’t react to her touch, merely stared her down. “Love doesn’t discriminate.”

“You make it sound worrisome,” she lamented, retracting her hand and fearing the worst. She’d seen these documentaries of other cults. Their leaders had sometimes slept with incredibly young – she didn’t wish to think of it. Not her son. Arthur could tell the thoughts that swirled inside of her head and gently placed a hand on top of hers now.

“She’s in her early twenties,” he said reassuringly. Thumb rubbing past her knuckles gently.

“I am still worried,” his mother confessed. “Why would she want an old sod like you?”

“Mom!”

“I know, I know,” his mother smiled at him and shook her head. “I am just messing with you. But I do urge you to think of what her future will be like, the way things are heading now. You’re trying to be kind to everyone you meet, Arthur. The bad things are in the past and I am proud of how you coped with that,” and here he remembered being Khonsu’s avatar, and the havoc he had caused. How it had broken his poor mother’s heart to see her youngest son on a murder spree. That he’d gotten away with it had been a miracle. “But now it’s time to move forward. Don’t let your goal keep you away from finding your own paradise.”

“It is this paradise I wish to bring to our earth,” Arthur said calmly.

“Does she know what you’re doing?” his mother asked. And by the way that his face fell she could already guess the answer. “Does she know who you are?”

Arthur didn’t reply with words, merely glanced away.

“You haven’t told her yet?” He could not tell if his mother was disappointed or concerned. Perhaps both.

“It would scare her away,” he softly admitted.

“And she has no idea of who you are? Of the people who look up at you?”

“She is intelligent,” he now fiercely said, eyes upon his mother again. “I do not delude myself into thinking she will never find out.”

“Quite rightly so,” his mom said. She then stretched her legs in front of her chair and sighed. “I am glad you came to visit me. It has been far too long. You are the only family I have left, and then you go off on these long journeys, out and about. It’s frightening sometimes,” she confessed. And Arthur had the decency to look ashamed at her words.

He looked down at his hands. “You know I have an important task at hand, mother,” he replied.

“I know,” she sighed. A silence fell between them. Not awkward, but still painful.

Arthur was the one to break it. “Are they taking good care of you still?”

His mother flashed him an encouraging smile. “Of course they are. You’ve given me the best and for that I am grateful. But son, you don’t need to spend all of your money on me.”

“It’s hardly all,” Arthur whispered.

“I know,” his mom said. “I am just proud of how far you’ve come in life. And the way you stand on your own two feet.”

She sighed, her eyes drifted to his cane. “Metaphorically speaking that is. Now for the real deal, you’re much too young to be walking with a cane.” “I’m fifty-two, mom,” Arthur lamented.

“My point still stands. It is unnecessary, Arthur. No mom would want to see her son suffer like that. Come on now, show me those feet.”

“Mom..”

Begrudgingly, Arthur took one of his sandals off, not entirely, but just enough to show his mother the broken pieces of glass that lay within them and the bloody mess that was his foot.

“See,” his mother said, biting back whatever emotion was threatening to slip through. “ I do hope you’ll ditch those slippers with glass once my grandchildren come around, it’s not safe with a baby, Arthur.”

The man’s eyes widened. Arthur clearly had not expected this. “Mother,” he stammered.

“Oh? You do not think there’ll be any?” she deadpanned. “Are you still living a life of celibacy then?”

When Arthur fell silent and stared in front of him, she knew enough.

“Those dark flushed cheeks, that look, I have known you all of your life, Arthur. Be truthful to me,” she said, trying to persuade him. And being his mom, it worked.

“I might have,” he hesitated here, lips moving but no sound coming forth yet. As if he had to pick the right words to follow next, “indulged. She is,” another hesitation, “out of this world, mother.”

Now a small smile crept on her lips. “Well, that is good.” She watched him for a moment, then pursed her lips. “You know, I was young too once. There’s no need to feel ashamed.”

“I know,” Arthur said, he put his slipper back on and winced as the glass bit into his heel. Then he turned to the cafeteria and nodded.

“Shall I get us another drink then? Mine has gone cold,” he offered.

“Thank you, son. The usual,” his mother agreed, and watched as he got up on his feet awkwardly, then slowly walked away.

“You can come out now dear,” she whispered, prompting you from your hiding spot. “But we have to be fast, he won’t be leaving for another hour or so.”

You dusted your clothes, smoothing out all of the crinkles.

“I had no idea he would visit,” the elderly lady begun, apologizing, “Arthur hardly ever comes around. That’s why I am so glad that you come to hold me company so faithfully.”

“I’ll leave through the backdoor,” you quietly said, giving her a quick hug. “I’ll come back tomorrow at noon so we can have lunch together.”

His mother’s eyes shifted down to your stomach. “Will you tell him soon?”

You hesitated, shocked by her question. “Perhaps,” you murmured, “after his journey to Egypt.”

She placed her hand on top of your tummy. “Don’t let the bad men know,” she whispered, blue eyes upon you. “It’ll be our secret.”

“Our secret,” you echoed while you placed your hand on top. Then both of your hands slid off and you spun on your heels. You glanced over your shoulder to see that Arthur was still with his back towards you, then smiled at his mother “mom.”

The old lady flushed with pride while she watched you go. “The Harrow legacy will continue,” she mumbled happily.

Then a cup of tea was placed in front of her and she smiled up at her son again. Something in his eyes was off. The words he spoke came through clenched teeth.

“What did you just say, mom?”

~ for @nicktremblaywayfu

#Moon night drabble #prompt fill #arthur harrow #arthur harrow x reader #family relations

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oneirataxia-haechan · 6 months ago

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The Kingdom as things my babies do

For context I'm a daycare teacher for 0-2 year olds and got this idea at work one day. Let me know any other groups you want to see for this kind of thing!

The Kingdom hyung line x reader (established relationship)

ultimate materlist & maknae line

Dann

Pouting to get my attention

Even when this man is in a bad mood, if he wants your attention you will know. His cute pout will always be there to give him away. His pout comes out most when any of the other boys have your attention.

Jealous someone else has my attention

Dann can get jealous in many different ways. But, if you haven’t been giving him enough attention for too long expect silent treatment, pouty Dann. If you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine after being ignored, he’ll cave fairly easily and not let you out of his sight for a while.

Staring at me with love

Sometimes you and the boys will record videos of you doing silly stuff while Dann is busy or during rest times. There have been a few times when he has walked up behind you as you are doing a funny dance. All he can do is stare at you lovingly with a cute smirk on his face.

Lay head on thigh/shoulder

Free pillows in Dann's eyes. He loves it when you think the same about him.

Steal my stuff/want my food (phone, toy, etc)

I’m not sure I just really see Dann randomly wanting bites of your food or taking your things just to watch you look for them. So childish.

Running at me into a hug

Typically this only happens when the boys aren’t around or when you’ve been apart for a long period. RUNS not walks to you, he just can’t help his excitement to see you.

Say my name just for fun

Not sure why but I feel like when he’s feeling extra hyper he’d do this just to see how long it would take you to get annoyed. Mostly happens when you’re busy and refusing to take breaks.

Play fighting/bickering

1000% old married couple type bickering. It’s the boys favorite to see because Dann usually caves and loses.

Arthur

Jealous someone else has my attention

It would be very hard to pick up on but arthur always wants your attention. He knows it's not possible to always have it all the time, but he sure wishes. So when you can’t be found after Arthur is done with the hair stylist, he looked for you. He didnt have to look too far or hard to find you next to one of the boys with your head on their shoulder. You were watching funny clips together, laughing. He hated to admit that the entire time he was getting his hair done he wished you were with him, attention mostly on him only.

Play fighting/bickering

Bickering back and forth over the most random things. You are sitting too close to him? You burped too loud? You took too long in the shower? You woke up later than usual? You’ll hear about it from Arthur. There may be some playful pushing, nudging, and dirty looks. All in good fun.

Trace/play with my tattoos

I could see him doing this out of boredom mostly. Like if another member was telling a story, he of course cared, but he was feeling antsy. He’d begin tracing your tattoos (or arms if you don't have any) It definitely would help with his antsiness.

Mujin

Pouting to get my attention

His mouth is really in a permanent pout because he always wants your attention. If he ever doesn’t have your attention he somehow pouts even more than usual. If you happen to be doing something with or talking to one of the other boys, EVERYONE will know. When you aren’t around though you’ll be flooded with pictures from the other boys of him pouting, just because you aren't there.

Fight to sit on my lap

Willing to kill to be the only person to ever sit on your lap. If any of the boys ever sat on your lap, especially before Mujin confessed to you, he’d fight for his soon-to-be rightful place on your lap. After being together for a while the boys made sure to try and sit on your lap just to aggravate him. You usually played along, his annoyed and jealous face is pretty cute after all.

Come up and put head on chest and sigh in relief

Mujin is a pretty optimistic guy. Rarely does he let people see him upset or down. When he comes to you and puts his head on your chest, you know exactly what it means. No matter if it's in private, in public, or just around the boys. He’ll let out a big sigh of relief and you'll know he’s trying to keep positive but something is going on or bothering him.

Follow me out of the room/follow me around

Lost puppy. Would be sure to follow you around if you happen to be working on things. He would have a tracking device (in his heart) when he’s feeling extra needy, just to track you down.

“Y/n just do it later and come cuddle please!”

Play with my earrings/hair

Hands. In. Your. Hair. Always. It’s basically how he comforts himself now. I think he’d be a fan of curly hair. He just loves playing with the curls, watching them spring back as he lightly pulls them. Loves to twirl your hair with his finger, a habit you had, that he seemed to have picked up. Another habit he picked up from you seemed to be playing with your ears. If you were wearing earrings even better, he adored them. Play with his ears/earrings and hair though, he’ll melt like butter.

Matching my dancing and laughing energy

“You can’t just dance or laugh alone.”

This is what he always says when you ask why he always matches your energy. He just loves to see your smile when he does this, it has become so natural for him now.

Fall asleep to me singing

Everything about you he adores. This includes you singing. When he first heard you singing to yourself in the shower or while cooking he’d want you to sing in front of him comfortably. He thought mentioning it one night in bed would be the perfect way to bring it up. While he was lying with his head on your stomach, arms around you, and legs intertwined, he began.

“Do you think you could sing me to sleep tonight?”

Your heart would melt and even though you felt shy about it, you couldn’t say no to those eyes.

Trace/play with my tattoos

You are 1000% confident that if Mujin had to draw your tattoos from memory, while blindfolded, he could. He's always tracing your tattoos, he just loves them so much and thinks they are the prettiest. Knows all the little details about them and what they mean because he’s asked you a million times. If you get a new one he’d be so excited for it to heal just to get to admire it fully.

Hands in my shirt

Yeah, Mujin likes putting his hands in your shirt. Loves having his arms wrapped around your torso, hands settled on your stomach. Usually when you are on his lap or during movie night. Just some extra skin-to-skin he craves.

Play fighting/bickering

He likes picking fights because he thinks he can win. Even if he’s been proven wrong time and time again. Doesn’t matter, he’ll win one day. Lots of little fake shoves, bicep punches, whining, and maybe even some pretend wrestling.

Play with my face/hands

You swear this new pimple is his fault. He touches your face more in a day than you do in a week. His. Hands. Will. Always. Be. Holding. Yours. You’ve learned to do many things one handed thanks to Mujin. You swear these hands used to be yours. Not anymore. Adores and looks forward to playing with your hands, no matter how many times he does it.

maknae line's here

#kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop #kingdom dann #kingdom mujin #kpop the kingdom #mujin #jang yunho #ko sungho #dann #jung seungbo #kingdom arthur #the kingdom

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call-sign-shark · 1 year ago

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Hey friend come, sit by the cozy fireplace inside of my cabin mansion and listen to my red talk(I call it red talk instead of Ted talk to avoid copyright infringement but don’t tell the communists that 😉)

Anyways, it’s currently 4:37 am in the morning so if i don’t answer back then I’m probably asleep. As I was saying, I wanted to ask that as you will someday soon produce future chapters of the heaven x auther series since you said that your series would go all the way up to season 5 would you add one significant moment where tommy is trading with the Chinese and has Polly and auther take a vote to keep the opium in small heath temporarily for the Chinese to find another way to sell it. I feel like if you were to add it, it would play a huge part in heaven and auther’s challenge as wife and husband however I can understand why you would not want to add it in would be because it would be overused and would get old but hey I’m a masochist so don’t be afraid to hold back.

Another thing I wanted to say is that I can’t wait for you to have Linda and heaven meet because it would be so good and it would be really fun to see because a part of me wants to see a cat fight but a part of me knows that both have their strengths and weaknesses. Linda has a nack for manipulating people that are vulnerable like auther was and having him under her hand by using Christianity as a veil to cover up for her narcissistic tendencies. She also is (I think masterful in economics and how to rally up women to fight for a cause for I believe is for the fun of it. Her weakness is when she hates when people are way smarter than her (I think) and also despises when people use violence to get what they want. I also think she likes diminishing peoples trauma and using their past against them to her advantage so to feel some kind of moral ground. Now as for heaven, her strength comes with a nack for violence when the people she cares about her hurt or are in danger. She also has a huge advantage by having powers as a witch to kill them. She also knows when to read the room and listens to people’s passions as well as being able to bring people back to life and loving children. She also understands how ptsd has a really big impact on people and how it can bleed into their lives she supports people’s aspirations and Dreams. She also has white hair which is a bonus 😌

She would make a great mother as well and she even acknowledges that her past really effected her and how she tries not to grieve to much as it can take a toll on one’s psychological development. I would really like to see how Linda reacts when she sees auther genuinely happy and healthy without her and how he doesn’t really need to go to heaven when he has her in his arms. And I can’t wait for heaven to put her in her place and I would love to see how smart they really are against each other.

Thanks for coming to my red talk

Jovin, thank you for your Red Talk. Please keep them going because they give me life I swear! 😬 Sorry for taking so long to reply but it’s a dense topic to address. Fasten your seat belts because it’s going to be a wild ride.

• First let me answer to your question about Heaven in Your Eyes’ plot: The Chinese and opium plot are obviously going to be addressed. Now the more time passes, the more I think about adding one Act to the series to cover season 6. But I will obviously completely rewrite the plot, such as Arthur’s role since he wouldn’t be a useless junkie in this version. Moreover you’re definitely right about the whole opium trade being a challenge for Heaven and Arthur’s marriage.

• Now about Linda. The women are definitely going to encounter each other at one point in the story. Something I didn’t mention is that they already met a few times prior to the divorce since she attend the masses in the same church in which Heaven sometimes went. As you justly said, they both have strengths and weaknesses… Even if I have to mention that readers sometimes might portray Heaven a bit too nicer than what she actually is. While not being particularly hostile and having a kind side, she can be a bratty, mean and sassy bitch. Moreover, I am delighted you mention her nack for violence ‘cause that’s definitely one of the things that distinguish her from Linda. While she’s more manipulative, Heaven rather use physical violence and threats to reach her goals. And I agree with your, white hair is a bonus teehee. 🖤 But yeah, Linda and Heaven facing each other is going to be super interesting, especially since Linda isn’t stupid, quite the contrary she’s smart as fuck… But no spoil! What I can say though is that Heaven won’t physically harm her if she doesn’t threaten Arthur or becomes an obstacle. Simply because she knows that seeing Arthur genuinely happy will hurt more than any physical wound.

Surprisingly enough, as a spectator of the show, I don’t particularly despise her character. I even think she has some great scenes. Especially when she mimics Tommy and says “Arthur, can’t you control your wife?” That line is definitely Heaven-coded.

Anyway! You can’t count on mommy bear Heaven to put her in her place if she needs to! 🤭 But Linda isn’t going to be easy to defeat. (+ look at her adorable face! How can she lose the fight?)

Heaven is Reader in Heaven in Your Eyes here, an Arthur Shelby x You story.

#Shark talks #Heaven Shelby #Arthur Shelby #Peaky blinders imagine #Arthur Shelby x reader #Arthur Shelby x oc #Peaky blinders x reader

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hellsvestibule · 2 years ago

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I’m thinking about lb6 and it’s directly paralels to the version of the quest for the holy grail I read. the main plot about compassion fatigue, a world full of ailing people trying to pull you off your pedestal because you’re the only one who seems strong enough to save them, bc you were Fated to save them thus to them you exist for that and nothing else, and the resulting callousness, paranoia, despair, and anger that results from a hero put in that position.

In the version I read this was the Lancelot plotline. It’s why I’m so weird about him, guys. I promise. He’s actually well written in other narratives. But also! I love it not being him, bc fgo wants to challenge the notion both that the Arthur adjascent wouldn’t crack, but also, is she going to crack in the same ways as him, no, bc she’s her own character and holds true to her identity as who she is in that moment, and that’s all she can really do, and that’s enough, that tiny thing makes all the difference between which character is going through this and the conclusion you’re meant to take, bc having yourself might be all you’re left with in the end. Bc if you haven’t read that adaptation (I don’t necessarily recommend it, lb6 is better in the messaging it sends) like you maybe wont understand this is really close to an existing plotline, bc you’re kind of conditioned when looking for The Story to focus on the names and events rather than focusing on the emotional through line, the thing that gets neglected. And lb6 wants to fuck this to hell and back. It’s specifically about fucking this up and it Should be. And this is also I think something people ignore when criticizing some aspects of the inaccuracy of fate characters. Well. They’re narratively self aware and trying to fight it. Even in the original narrative. Why would it necessarily always play out the same way even if it plays out the same way? You can have events reflect and repeat while still having it lead towards a meaningful progression where things change. You are going to inflict your perspective onto the story whether you want to or not. Why fight that. Why seek for an accuracy you don’t understand, when fate can be completely wacky and still easily pinpoint the heart of the story better than your average Hollywood adaptation, the part that can resonate with Anyone who feels like they’re inheriting a world too broken to save, and being broken by it? I do not give a fuck if blorbeth from the knight drama finds the cup and scepter, that’s just dressing to the pathos, it’s Sad that people are suffering, and this slowly poisons the happiness of people trying to hold onto joy, until they cave and to misery and despair. It’s sad for everyone involved.

Maybe that’s just the part of me that’s disinterested in accurate adaptation of Arthurian myths and in fact actively finds them boring and awkward. There’s so much self awareness coming from lb6 that feels very similarly to how I feel in regards to frustration to how these things are usually adapted. Fuck the names and places and events. There was once a time when those things were fresh, and had to Earn their place in our lexicon, rather than being taken for granted you could just slap them down and hit the same emotional through lines by invoking a name you don’t really understand. If you’re too much of a stickler for being respectful to ol’ Arthur and all the silly prophecies and battles, if you fear criticism for changing things, or in delivering admirable characters rather than entertaining and compelling ones you might focus on that and little else. when the story wouldn’t have stuck around so long if all it was about is objects which more or less abstractly represent wealth or power. Like who the fuck cares about that! .If you asked me what “important” thing happened in the quest for the holy grail or really any Arthurian story I’ve read. I could not recall a single fucking detail which isn’t more obviously correlated to a character suffering or dying. I just remember the knights constantly getting lost and eating shit, and the particular above plotline in particular bc it was very emotional and relatable and one of the things that sold me on Lancelot as a character, and why I’m so idk. Pissed he hasn’t been treated properly outside vague hints that like, 2 or 3 people in the whole story understand him, even if they’re holding out for another twist ending, idk if that’ll make up for it. But still, lb6 is Good. Fgo is making everyone realize like wow this shit is actually really relatable and sad and tragic. It is! Which is why I was so mad that the message you’re meant to take at the end of the version I read is basically. The one Sakura receives at the end of fate/zero. Galahad existrd basically as nothing but a self sacrificial object representing Lancelot’s lost innocence. He existed entirely to heal the rot and pain in everyone else, and was worthless the moment he could no longer do it. So he, a child possessing Lancelot’s childhood name, dies of heartbreak when he reaches adulthood. It’s tragic, sure, there are parts of it that are genuinely compelling, but it’s specifically bc the indignation you feel on their behalf if you have an ounce of compassion. the message it’s used to sell about purity is rancid. Fgo knows it’s rancid. Part 1 ends with fou being unable to accept Mash’s fated death via her connection to Galahad, and ironically repeating the narrative and sacrificing himself for her. Lb1 ends w a reflection of this playing out a thousand times and Galahad has to leave Mash bc there is no fucking innocence left in that world and that’s all he was allowed to be.

Fgo gets this more than most adaptations of Arthurian myth that would focus too much on the specificity of certain details and maybe miss the tragedy of the story being about an ailing world corrupting the goodness of the very people trying to save it. I don’t really care about preserving the dignity of kings of a bygone era. The surrounding context and details don’t matter. It’s all a dream, everyone’s already dead, embrace chaos. I find so much live action adaptations boring for the lack of this. Arthurian stories are fucking unhinged and hilarious and fucked up and depressing. But they’re that for how the characters can be relatable and pathetic despite all the pomp and circumstance. It’s Boring to translate these tales to our modern Hollywood sensibilities of valor romance or narrative cohesion and disliking being interrupted by nonsense and characters having ugly pathetic reactions to their circumstances. But fgo exists within a format that thrives w this sort of wackiness and also isn’t afraid to go hard w drama. I don’t read these stories bc I care about kings and knights. I read them bc they’re funny fucked up and sad. These people will mow down like 50 people in battle then awkwardly apologize about it after. Women will ride out of the field on a steed of some sort and just start infodumping lore and metaphors that completely fly over your head. This is charming and strange.

Like I said, tho, the only need to read the original is if you want to know how and why fate confronts it. the message about holding tight to your identity and boundaries. Its bullshit that the version I read commits really hard to the idea that personal autonomy is bad, submission is good, and you are only worth as much of yourself you can sacrifice to others. And lb6 is instead like, no, let this bitch go off. One of the most iconic moments in the og was how they try to pull that shit on Gawain and he’s literally like, with all due respect I am arrogant and shameless and will never learn :) and you’re probably supposed to think this is hubris. when compared to the toxicity of the overall message it’s actually a bright ray of sunshine. Like. Where is your rage, bitch. Rage. Rage against the lying of the light! Gawain…i mean…sometimes he could genuinely do with a bit more shame but Someone needed to just be like you know what no thanks I don’t care about salvation I’ll go to hell when I die.

#high literary standards here on hells vestibule #bad romance arthurian edition

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